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2011 Metamorphosism International St. Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest

It is a great pleasure to announce the opening of the 2011 metamorphosism.com International St. Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest.

Winner’s will be announced on Valentine’s Day, 14 February 2011 unless I’m having some crisis or something.

Rules:

  1. Be nice.
  2. Entries must be a limerick.
  3. This year’s themes: Jungian psychology, the recent astrological reform, Icelandic geography, monopolistic corporate imperialism and/or plutocracy.
  4. Entries must be made in the comments to this post.

47 responses to “2011 Metamorphosism International St. Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest

  1. I would like to announce my entry as official participant, this year.

  2. mig

    Fire when ready.

  3. joeri

    okay, here’s my not so inspired try for this year

    A Banker in old Reykjavik
    Was feeling monopolistic
    Then the intrest rates soared
    “Not his fault”, said the Board
    and then Eyjafjallajökull went ballistic

  4. Jann

    Volcanoes in Iceland, extensive,
    Can make people quite apprehensive,
    Eruptions last summer,
    Some just thought a bummer,
    While others became hypertensive!

  5. Jann

    In Iceland vast forests of birch,
    Were destroyed, so now one must search,
    Small patches one sees,
    Of these kinds of trees,
    For man this great land did besmirch!

  6. Jeff

    I shimmied and shaked like a dancer
    At the zodiac’s updated answer.
    Oh, I’m not sure I get
    To be Gemini yet,
    But I’ve fully recovered from Cancer!

  7. joeri

    Though Libra I was, now I’m Virgo
    – Not virgin, don’t you offend my ego –
    My Myers-Briggs type
    Was changed with a swipe
    and somehow I learned to play cello

  8. Jann

    Astrological changes are tough,
    For those who believe in this stuff,
    When star signs were altered,
    Self images faltered,
    But others just think it’s all fluff.

  9. Jann

    Acquisition of wealth is the creed,
    Of the corporate heads, fueled by greed,
    A widening gulf,
    Twixt the poor and well off,
    Sherman’s antitrust act they don’t heed.

  10. Jann

    Hehe. Here’s one with a serious structural misconception :-)

    Her Jungian psychologist Juliana is suing,
    Archetypical analysis she sorely is ruing,
    His probing of dreams,
    Elicits just screams,
    This collective unconscious will be our undoing.

  11. Jann

    Hard lava’s what Iceland’s composed of,
    Erupting volcanoes are closed off,
    Ash spews toward the heavens,
    Grounds seven-three-sevens,
    Each morning all cars must be hosed off.

  12. Jann

    Astrological changes mean squat,
    Some folks just like stirring the pot,
    Believers devout,
    Can stand up and shout,
    A new sign is what you have not!

    (See: http://aol.it/goWivJ )

  13. Jann

    Pisceans are suave and artistic,
    While Aries she thought narcissistic,
    So when Sue made the switch,
    From the ram to the fich,
    She found herself less egoistic.

    [Creative rhyming/spelling required for the astrology stuff :-)]

  14. I’m sick of my shadow said Jung
    To help him get over his gloom
    In Vatnajökull
    He got out his skull
    On Brennivín, vodka and shrooms.

  15. joeri

    The end of the world as we know it
    was discussed at the Reykjavik Summit
    Ronald Reagan declared
    that he was quite prepared
    to have missiles ballistic now plummet

    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iceland_summit)

  16. Jann

    Now Jung’s not as boring as feared,
    But collective unconscious seems weird,
    There’re memories too deep,
    To the conscious to leap,
    Into all human brains which are seared

  17. michael berry

    “You’re nothing but low-living scum!”
    The plutocrat said to a bum.
    While feasting in wealth
    He lost all his health,
    And died as he choked on a crumb.

  18. michael berry

    My Jungian counselor’s discerning
    To know of my groin’s inner burning
    Was met by the truth
    Of my unrefined youth,
    And my wet dream fulfilled all her yearning.

  19. michael berry

    “You’re nothing but low-living scum!”
    The plutocrat said to a bum.
    Ironic: In wealth
    He lost all his health
    When he died as he choked on a crumb.

  20. There once was a bright young librarian
    Who was told she was not an Aquarian
    She said with great scorn,
    “I am not Capricorn!
    After all, I am not a barbarian.”

  21. joeri

    Iceland is the product of motion
    of tectonic plates deep in the ocean
    It splits through the middle
    Well this explains the riddle
    why vulcanos cause regular commotion

  22. Jann

    In Buffalo were Scorpios too many,
    Or so thought a lady named Jenny,
    But now that’s been altered,
    Scorp’s numbers have faltered,
    In sooth, there are now hardly any!

  23. Jann

    In the States, says the ‘party of no’,
    The just-passed health act’s a no go,
    In the House most have wealth,
    A great plan for *their* health,
    And concern for the poor’s just for show!

  24. A typical Pisces, lovelorn
    Writes sad verse using clichés outworn
    She’ll be much more nefarious
    When she’s Aquarius
    She might even star in some porn.

  25. tom

    An amiable young vegetarian
    Conversant in matters agrarian
    Did gambol and curtsy
    ‘Twixt Heimaey and Surtsey
    With an equally friendly Aquarian

  26. Jann

    Jane believed in the Sun Signs a bit,
    But the ram did not well with her sit,
    Thought her sign must be wrong,
    She was right all along,
    Now she’s Pisces: a much better fit.

  27. Jann

    I just have to see Iceland, thought Jed,
    To the beautiful Westfjords I’ll head,
    The puffins and such,
    One can reach out and touch,
    They’ve not learned to fear people, it’s said.

    ( http://iceland.vefur.is/iceland_regions/westfjords.htm/ )

  28. Jann

    The Westfjords, a glacial creation,
    Is a place one finds rejuvenation,
    Such beauty pristine,
    Is now rarely seen,
    And Iceland’s one beautiful nation.

    http://iceland.vefur.is/iceland_regions/westfjords.htm

  29. Jann

    Sue thought Cancer the very best sign,
    Twas the reason her beau’s so divine,
    But when he got bumped,
    And to Gemini jumped,
    She found she still liked him just fine!

  30. Jann

    Chiefs got rich while their great big banks failed,
    Or would have, if they’d not been bailed,
    Misdeeds of monopolists,
    Can lead to apocalypse,
    Oh would that they all could be jailed!

  31. joeri

    How long will this limerick craze last?
    It’s hard not to be taken aghast
    but from ludicrous themes
    sprout these consiousness streams
    And the good ones now turn up en masse

  32. joeri

    Changing rules for this limerick contest
    would be welcome but would it draw protest?
    Would the rhiming elites
    promptly take to the streets
    causing much aggrevation and unrest

  33. joeri

    I’m no specialist in matters Icelandic
    Well, in fact I’m just autodidactic
    But I know just this þing:
    Iceland’s spelling is king
    But the typos I make are gigantic

  34. joeri

    In Húsavík, tired of watching the whales
    Things to see, without many details:
    There’s a great perineum
    at the Icelandic Phallological Museum
    I still ponder over what this entails.

  35. Jann

    These two go together.

    From the high rocky cliffs of Heimaey,
    Young puffins set off on their way,
    Confused in the night,
    In the town they alight,
    On the streets, they’d not last through the day.

    Town folks on these dark August nights,
    Set out with their trusty flashlights,
    Search all through the town,
    Hunt the lost pufflings down,
    The next day set them back on their flights.

    Heimaey is a volcanic island off Iceland.
    Video re puffin rescue: http://tinyurl.com/57me5f

  36. Jann

    In seventy-three on Heimaey,
    The volcano Eldfell had its waey,
    Five months lava flowed,
    Till it finally slowed.
    Folks cooled molten rock with sea spraey.

    While this great volcano erupted,
    Isle life was, in toto, disrupted,
    Lava flowed ever stronger,
    The island grew longer,
    Old maps of the island, corrupted.

    See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heimaey
    Photo of lava: http://tinyurl.com/6j8d77c

  37. Susie

    We’re now in the ‘Year of the Rabbit’
    Jung thought broader than Freud about ‘going at it’
    Iceland’s volcano eruptions rages
    While Walmart lowers local wages
    A few sussed out global wealth & then grabbed it.

  38. Jann

    As he thoughtfully furrowed his brow,
    Said her Jungian shrink, “Let’s see now,
    “You can’t find your animus,
    “Unless you smoke cannabis,
    “And that is a problem, just how?”

  39. Jann

    Mary pondered the meanings of “syz’gy”,
    As she lazily tossed her old frisbee,
    “Earth, sun, moon, all aligned…”
    But then Jung came to mind,
    And she wondered aloud what might his be.

    Jung, syzygy: http://tinyurl.com/4q9j58y
    See under “The persona”

  40. Ian

    There was a wise ol’ woman pikey
    Who had a very potent psyche
    She arched her type
    A metaphor so ripe
    That those who fucked her said “crikey”.

  41. Lisa D

    While America’s Court Supreme
    Was interpreting Murdock’s wet dream
    By giving a vote
    To BP and Coke,
    Karl Rove joined the “fair” Fox News Team.

  42. Lisa D

    Iceland’s words has the world’s tongues corrupted
    With Viking names, long and disrupted.
    Eyjafjallajökull, we’ve found
    Is spelled like it sounds,
    Still the Yanks wish Katla had erupted!

  43. Lisa D

    Oh Libra, the archetypical slut,
    You’ve just had a punch to the gut.
    Your sign is now Virgo,
    Now sex you must forgo,
    In short, you must keep your legs shut.

  44. Lisa D

    PS. I know how to spell Murdoch.

  45. schnitzi

    The mystics, all smoking their hookahs
    Have a new sign for us: ophiuchus.
    Though some will exclaim,
    “Just keep it the same!”
    Don’t change it like you were George Lucas!”

  46. Jane

    To my sweetheart, it’s all immaterial
    Whether horoscopes use the sidereal.
    In this Year of the Rabbit,
    I’ll stick, per my habit,
    With the sign that says you are ethereal.

  47. Trish

    Only checking in now, but delighted to see Brandelion has raised the limerick bar this year. I’m also relieved to learn I didn’t miss anything since I would have been unable to comply with rule (1) and would have objected to the repeated obsession with Iceland (I’m still trying to delet Bjork lyrics from 2009).