I’m sorry, but 2010 is going to fucking suck

Some newsletter I subscribe to said something about how hard 2009 was on many of us and how 2010 had to be an improvement because it couldn’t be worse, and I just thought, baby you ain’t seen nothing yet. This was a writing newsletter, I think – how could any sort of writer lack imagination to the extent that they think nothing could be worse than, what, fattening up a few fat cats with taxpayers’ money etc? I can think of plenty of worse things.

Also, there is the jinxing thing. Seriously, that’s a big concern. Even if you’re optimistic, you’re supposed to say things like, 2009, you thought that was bad? 2010 is going to fucking suck, pal. Why do you think the military has been investing so much in drones, robots and non-lethal technology? Because they expect domestic uprisings and conflicts, and human soldiers are unlikely to be real motivated when it comes to using lethal technology on fellow citizens. They’ll spray them with glue, nets and rays that make them hot and stuff, though, and you can always find a few psychos to fly the drones or drive the robots. Amirite?

2010 is going to make 2009 look like Let’s Make a Deal and you had everything in your purse that Monty Hall was looking for when he came out into the audience, and you took the $50 he gave you for the bottle opener with the picture of the Pope on it and put it in the nickel slot machine in Reno and, jackpot! Cups and cups of nickels. That’s what 2009 is going to look like, looking back on it in 2010.

2010 is going to make us wish it was 2012.

We are all going to get on each other’s nerves in 2010 and bicker. No replacement for Lady Gaga will come along, either, until 2011 at the earliest. I won’t figure out yet how to get interesting sounds out of my Jomox T-Resonater.

People with more money than they can possibly spend in a lifetime will continue to accumulate more, and won’t be taxed down to a level where they have the maximum amount a person could possibly spend in a lifetime, for some fucking reason.

The Mazda guy will, however, fix my broken shock absorber first thing, as soon as January 2010 rolls around and he reopens.

He’s on vacation right now. Good for him. We all deserve a little vacation.

Despite this dire outlook, all the best to you, personally. May 2010 not suck for you, dude.

8 responses to “I’m sorry, but 2010 is going to fucking suck

  1. Too optimistic by half.

  2. Mattos

    People aged 42 – 54 are in BIG trouble. Many have been axed from middle to upper-middle class jobs…and they are NEVER going to recover. They are (right now) chewing up savings & 401k’s and running up credit cards. Their sad days are coming & it is going to REALLY hurt America. Be ready for the double-dip…and be sure to help out your middle-aged neighbor if you can. God help us all. I fear the rise of socialism already has reached critical mass.

  3. Oy, Mattos – who the fuck are you? Don’t be mean to Mig, a gentleman in his (now) 50’s. Bugger off, teabagger.

  4. mig

    no, actually, be sure and help those of us in our 40s and 50s, totally. our mouths are full of amalgam fillings and stuff. and our entertainment centers are blinking 12:00.

  5. Can we still party like it’s 1999? (ugly clothes, less back pain)

  6. mig

    (and cases of distilled water and canned food)

  7. Hm. Better make that 1998 – in 1999 we were too worried about the Y2K thing.

  8. Oops! I just realized that’s what the distilled water and canned food were for! (That what happens when I post comments before my morning chocolate fix.)