- Where can I get a pastry knife/pastry blender in Austria? And what are they called in German? I just get puzzled looks when I describe them to store clerks.
- Saw a trailer for “The Men Who Stare at Goats” a while ago. It looks funny. It has Jeff Bridges as a New Agey instructor-guru type. WHY ALWAYS JEFF BRIDGES? DO HOLLYWOOD PRODUCERS READ A SCRIPT, SEE A PONYTAIL AND SAY, “CALL BRIDGES’ AGENT, WE NEED A HIPPIE?” I’m getting tired of that.
- As much as I like Jeff Bridges.
- Just read Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road” a while back too. It took me a long time to get started because the first paragraph broke my heart with its beauty and simplicity, the way you knew both main characters IMMEDIATELY from just a few well-chosen words that weren’t even describing them, and knew that nothing good was waiting for them out there in that post-not-further-described-apocalyptic-world. However, with that great start, I could only be disappointed by the end, and I was. I was left with the feeling that the language was, ultimately, TOO poetic and self-conscious and beautiful for a novel. There were too many coincidences although an argument could convince me otherwise, namely the argument that of 100 pairs of such characters, 99 would have died well before the final chapter in this hostile environment; the only pair that would make it to the end of the book would be the lucky one. You can be careful and wise and knowledgeable and prepared, but without luck you are fucked pal at least in a vague apocalypse. But I found McCarthy’s economics grand, the most compelling part of the book. Following an event such as the vaguely described one in theh book, everything would become scarce almost immediately. Within 10 years: no bullets, no shoes, no food.
- Srsly, our current system ROCKS in comparison.
Tag Archives: jeff bridges
Posted in Metamorphosism
Tags: apocalypse, cormac mccarthy, criticism, film, jeff bridges, literature, pastry blender
Little-known facts about the Nigerian grifter catfish
- The Nigerian grifter catfish is, oh, about six feet long.
- The Nigerian grifter catfish goes swimming around, minding its own business.
- The Nigerian grifter catfish looks harmless, except for the being a giant catfish part.
- But watch out! The Nigerian grifter catfish is a trickster.
- I have it on good authority that the Nigerian grifter catfish will get that book of yours published for a blowjob and a box of clementines1, and some money up front for the printer.
- The Nigerian grifter catfish will hack into your gmail account. Once, I thought I was chatting with a friend and she was just being weird, but it turned out her account had been hacked. So beware! It could happen to you!
- Also another popular Nigerian grifter catfish trick is to pretend to be gagging on an inflatable ball and be all “help me mister i keep floating”. Even Jeff Bridges believes this. This is a good gig for the fish because it masks the fact that they are not capable of speech. With the ball in their mouths, they are all “mmmpf mmmpf gghmph” and the fishermen’s imaginations run away with them and they think they hear something about “three wishes” or something. Thing is, after that fish in the Jeff Bridges’ pictures swam away, the guy noticed his watch was missing.
- I should say, “Jeff Bridges believes this, ironically,” because he is the son of Lloyd Bridges, who played Mike Nelson in a popular television show called Seahunt, which was my favorite at the time (although I only saw it in syndication, and not while it was being produced, as we did not have a television at that time and also I was too young) and so should know better, as I’m sure his dad must have talked about water-related bad guys at the dinner table.
- They’re not picky, that looks like a Swatch, I have one just like it.
- Here’s another one doing it. So be careful.
- The Nigerian grifter catfish also happens to be, currently, my favorite non-existent Disney character. What’s yours?
1“On good authority” means I am not the boss of that particular fact.