Waiting at a light this morning, the air clear, the city grey, marveling at how European everything looked, hoping nothing would bounce out of the dumpster on the back of the truck in front of me when it took off, I checked out this woman walking past on the sidewalk. Not for long; at the moment my attention briefly focused on her, she leaned over and blew her nose farmer-style, shook some off her hand, and continued on her way.

Last night, I tried to sell Gamma a de-lousing as a beauty treatment. It’s times like that when I wish I could wave my hand and make my children gullible and naive for the duration of a bath, you know? But, alas. Much screaming. Much, much screaming, in fact. Wow, in fact. We washed with the louse shampoo: shut your eyes, no, yes, hold the washcloth over them, no, yes, what’d I tell you, I warned you. We rinsed with vineger. No vinegar, yes vinegar, it loosens the nits and they de-stick and come out, no, yes, no, I’m not a salad, then quit acting like a salad, no, yes. I then shampooed with baby shampoo to sort of neutralize the aromatic goings on. Washed the brush as well as possible, brushed, went through everything with a fine-toothed comb, no, yes, hang on just a second almost done, no, yes, we’ll give you a cool hairdo, okay.

Had to repeat the hairdo, and improve upon it, at breakfast time this morning. You look cool, let me see, let me go look in the mirror, gah finish your toast I don’t want toast what do you want I want a Kaiser roll with smoked salmon okay here you are now finish that and brush your teeth we’re running late.

Her sister examined the hairdo. K3wL, futuristic, she said.

All your friends in Kindergarten will be envious, I said. She decided then that she didn’t want to wear glasses, to avoid minimizing the overall beauty package. Your glasses are great, I said. All the kids will want glasses. No, yes, look, see, you look fantastic with the glasses, okay I guess so, whew.

Now my scalp itches again.

4 responses to “Style

  1. oh my, mig. I know with alpha gone that makes for less estrogen overall, but with gamma starting already… well, you’ve got a long haul ahead of you. heh ;)

  2. deb

    I remember going through quite the same thing with my two girls when they were about the age of yours. What a nightmare! Both of them with long thick blonde hair fighting tooth and nail against that nit comb. Eeeks. Did you get instructions as well about de-lousing the stuffed animals? Just curious…my kids had a roomful of them. My idea was to just set fire to them, but I couldn’t stand hearing the kids cry even more…

  3. miguel

    so far we’ve been tossing them into the freezer.
    the stuffed animals, i mean.
    in plastic bags, so dead lice don’t get on our other frozen stuff.

    why do i have the premonition this lice thing isn’t over yet?

  4. deb

    We went through it twice – about a year apart. One of the reasons it’s so difficult to get under control in schools and daycare facilities is because not every parent is as diligent about the treatments as you are. Even though WE know OUR children have been treated properly and we were successful in getting rid of the buggers, unfortunately some other parents are louses, themselves, and either don’t take the time to do the treatments properly or just don’t care… It really can become quite a vicious cycle.