I stare at a computer monitor all day at work. Then I go home and, more often than not, I stare at another one for a few more hours for fun. My eyesight used to be perfect. Today I feel naked and incomplete because I forgot my reading glasses.
You know how, when you saw your dad without his glasses as a kid, he looked wrong? That’s how I feel today, wrong.
Otherwise, I’m in a totally better mood. Other people’s blog entries were all so good when I read them this morning. D talking about football. Good body image – skinniness talk at Billegible. Farting women at A Small Victory. Handlesekunde, more handlesekunde than you can shake a stick at, at U.D.N.. Mary botches a bikini trim but is nevertheless happy to be a girl. Mae scary in a tanktop? Paint yourself red at Words Mean Things? Public lesbian peeing, anyone?
Even Melly managed to string a few words together for a change. And all the rest of you. Too numerous to mention. God loves each and every last single one of you.
Excuse me, hang on. Phone.
That was my Id. He wants to go out and rip somebody a new asshole, then tie one on, dance the macarena with starlets covered in chocolate sauce and wake up with a full body tattoo, japanese style, of the carp that causes earthquakes when it flicks its tail.
I told him sorry, I have a cello lesson tonight, then I’m cleaning house with the Superego.
Hehe – D is god. Man, you have some ‘splaining to do!
Oops. Davezilla. Damn you charismatic men whose names begin with the letter D! You confuse me with your excessive virility and alphabetic similarity!
All this time I thought my mother was god.
I’m still having nightmares about my bad shaving experience.
Talk about bad hair days.
W A X
How many times do I have to tell you people.
It’s all about the hot wax on the nether regions, mmhm. But only by a paid professional – do NOT try this at home.
My hands are blacklight orange from dying a friend’s hair this evening. Gloves are for sissies.
My throat tastes like bug spray.
That is all.
The waxing is good, but the consequent ingrown hairs are very, very bad. I now have a SCAR from that. Luckily it’s in a place where not many people will see it, at least not in my current profession.