I’m the healthy one for once, taking a day off from work to look after sick people at home. Really looking forward to the full moon tomorrow as well. And…

Busy? What are you doing?

Trying to blog.

I see. Uh huh.

I was going to write a humorous bit about having sections of flesh cut from my back last night, and the doctor making comparisons to bacon rind.

Go ahead. I’ll just stand here and breathe and digest my cornbread.

It can wait.

So now I’m being called a perv in my comments, of all things. Of course I’m somehow flattered, in a pervy way, on the one hand, but on the other I’ve always considered myself more of a lech than a perv.

My question to you today: what’s the difference between a lech and a perv?

Hopefully we will return to regular programming shortly.

[sounds of gentle snoring]

Hi, this is Evil Mig, you can tell from the goatee. Mig’s asleep right now. He went the all-you-can-eat running sushi place down the street for lunch and fell asleep at his desk when he got back, despite a big steaming cup of Neskafkafe. The side of his face is going to have paper-clip prints all over it when he wakes up.

Let’s see. What’s something really evil I could do? I could screw up his counter, that would drive him frantic. Eh, it already seems to be screwed up. Hrm. What else. Maybe I’ll go change all his passwords. Leave the toilet seat up when we get home tonight.

And coffee.
You’re so slim, what’s your secret?
I try not eating, to lose weight, but all it does is make me hungry.
I’d go running, but there might be ice somewhere to slip on; plus to be honest I hate running.
Note: If anyone really sends diet advice, they are requested to attach a picture of themselves naked, to prove they know what they’re talking about.

Relationship management poll: what works best for you – blarney, outright obsequious ass-kissing flattery, naked aggression, a combination of the above, or something else [please detail]?

Language question, since we did so well with “amok” and “berserk” below: what’s the difference between ironic and stupid, which what’s-her-name that singer, Alanis Morissette, uses as synonyms?

Williamsbridge Oval, the Bronx

The snow has mostly melted, a warm wind rattled our roof all night and on the way to work I thought not of deer but Shorty and the fun we had on my last visit to New York, and the can of white spray paint she always keeps in her purse. Imagine my joy when I found this in my e-mail this morning. What is that, synchronicity or serendipity? Both?

And, quick: without looking at a dictionary, what’s the difference between “amok” and “berserk”?

Location: Home office. Husband blogging.

Wife: [enters room] “Now be perfectly honest with me…”
Husband: [without looking up from screen] “You look wonderful. Very becoming haircut. The pants make you look slim.”
Wife: “Um… now I forgot what I wanted to say.” [Walks back out of room as husband chalks another small "X" on wall beside PC.]

Crazy moon-lovers.