Let’s see. I have had a splitting headache for two days so far. Alpha left early in the morning to get a few hours of work in at her office before coming home to relieve me from caring for Gamma, who is still sick. I was hoping to sleep in, but one of the cats had digestive problems and that got me up. At least Gamma was able to get some extra sleep – she’s usually up at the crack of dawn. She’s feeling a lot better now, by the way, fever is down.

Now I am at the office, happily, hoping a colleague will be able to get my CD writer working.

Staying home with Gamma was okay, though, although she made me play Barbie with her, and she made me tell her several stories. She wanted circus stories, so she got one about the time I found the baby circus elephant when I was her age, and it was dirty so I took a bath with it and it made a big mess of the bathroom squirting water all over with its trunk. And then there was the time my parents engaged the circus monkeys to babysit, and they had a banana fight in the house and made a big mess, and I had to go around with our dachshund, which liked to eat bananas, and clean everything up before my parents came home.

And I also had to read her Bible stories. Many Bible stories. What is manna, anyway?

If I ever try to do anything to my PC by myself ever again, shoot me first.

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Gosh, the salesman at the computer store said this CD-R/RW drive would be easy to install…

Now what is this wire for?

Alpha had her hair done Friday evening. Looks nice. But she didn’t come home for the longest time. Turns out she was the last customer and went out for a drink with her stylist, who is a friend of ours. Fine with me. Except she didn’t tell me beforehand, so I wasn’t sure whether I’d ever see her again – I mean, she was stuck at home with a sick kid for an entire week, she’s two hours late, she could be in Hungary by now.

She would’ve called, it turned out, except it was Gamma’s bedtime and she feared the ringing phone would’ve woke her back up, which is true. Anyway, I didn’t care about her going out, I was just worried, she wasn’t in trouble but I let her think she was because, you know how things are in a relationship…

When she finally got home, I said, “That’s okay, honey, you can just [INSERT TOO MUCH INFORMATION HERE][110101 00101001010010101010 11110101101001011010 1010010100110101010 100101010010101 001010 10010101010 01010010 010101001 010101010011 11011010].

[END TOO MUCH INFORMATION]
…and she looked at me and said, “You are *not* blogging about this.”

I heard Elise is singing torch songs on a luxury liner in the Bahamas. Anyone else heard that rumor?

Phear michele.

There’s this guy at work who used to have the same short, silver haircut as I do. This week, he came into work with a black dye-job and he looks like… hang on…

And, just in case anyone has been curious about my real identity or the circumstances surrounding my life abroad, I have bright green hair, am 5’2″ tall, and have a glass eye. I work in the reptile section of a small private zoo on the Isle of Man and my name is Barney Fife.