My mom

Just got off the phone with my mom. She just had two bionic knees installed. My understanding is this works like this: they take a saw and trade your old knees for new knees. The funny part is, she’s already walking around, and is not taking any painkillers. Zero. This woman should be cage fighting.


The algedonicist stood crookedly at his desk, caught by a spasm not in the process of standing up, but rather in the process of having just stood up. He waited for the firing in his lower back to stop and observed his posture: left leg straight, normal, but pelvis so twisted his right leg was on tiptoe – leg? foot? – to even things out. The only science, this. Tiny increments of wow, oh boy.

Wow; oh boy.