Things I have learned from life with a Greek tortoise

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  • The best time to go is right after the guy has finished mopping the floors from the last time you went.
  • Hence, never shoot all your powder when you go the first time.
  • Third time is the charm, so save a little under your tail.
  • For a victory lap, also keep a little hidden in an indentation on your chest, evolved over millions of years for this purpose.

Small world

Beta works at a government ministry in Vienna. Yesterday she told me her boss told her another staff member at the ministry took a picture of our tortoise, which had escaped, and was, I guess, on a sidewalk here in our village, and posted the picture to Facebook prior to secretly returning the tortoise to its flowerbed.

I guess that’s why he is a boss at a ministry, guy knows EVERYTHING.

Also, the staff member is KEVIN BACON.

Or something.