Things I have learned from life with a Greek tortoise

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  • The best time to go is right after the guy has finished mopping the floors from the last time you went.
  • Hence, never shoot all your powder when you go the first time.
  • Third time is the charm, so save a little under your tail.
  • For a victory lap, also keep a little hidden in an indentation on your chest, evolved over millions of years for this purpose.

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