In Russia, cat adopt you

Odin wonders, did kittens have something to do with the loss of his one eye and he made up the story about the spring of wisdom because it sounded more divine?

He wonders, is that what happened to Van Gogh and he made up the whole cut off his own ear story because mad artist sounded better in the 19th century than kitten?

See Odin woke up at 3.30 with a kitten gnawing on his ear, making nomnomnom sounds and purring sounds, and smacking its lips.

It also bathed his entire head as he tried to fall back to sleep.

You ever try to fall back to sleep in the middle of the night with a kitten chewing on your head? he asks the crows.

Of course not.

Of course not. The crows aren’t even there, Odin is just imagining them today. His wife packed him a lunch and he ate it early in his office and now he’s sitting there while workmen drill holes in brick walls on all sides and concrete walls and do other things similarly noisy to floors and ceilings with other power tools.

What say the slain?

Here is what I wish for you: that one day you lay aside the millstone of recognition for just a second and driving down the street, say, you see a young woman walking toward you on the sidewalk, smiling in the morning sunshine, on her way to work, dark hair flowing in the breeze and unaware of you and the sight of her makes you happy and you think, what a beautiful, together, strong, happy, professional-looking, competent, smart, intelligent, interesting, charismatic and unique woman and only then after this objective reaction to a stranger, realize she is your daughter.

What say the hanged?

Seeing yourself at the center of creation is a failure of imagination.

It’s the holiday season

The cat yacked in our bedroom at 2.30 am. It was just a kitten, but due to an inherent acoustic law of the feline digestive tract, sounded like some huge animal. I figured since it was only 2.30 I would be able to fall back to sleep afterwards, and who doesn’t like to fall back to sleep? I got up and stepped on something furry. REEEEER! Sorry, pal. Felt like a tail. Got some heavyweight paper towels from the kitchen downstairs, followed by optimistic cats. Turned on bedroom light to wipe it up. Just a little puddle with something festive in the middle. Either tapeworms are getting fancier, or it had eaten a length of holiday mylar. Disposed of the evidence. Went back to bed, and stared at the ceiling for two hours, just about falling asleep at the moment Alpha’s alarm went off.

He also used a metal fork to remove a piece of toast stuck in the toaster once, with similar results

Our kittens, this might surprise you, have been cute lately. One of their tricks is to run in big circles in the living room, in opposite directions, until they attain maximum velocity, at which point they crash into each other, producing a ferret and a Republican attack ad. We call this the Particle Accelerator Trick.

So you can imagine how intrigued I was to read this which I found here on Brian’s blog, which he found here on Neatorama.

The value of inconvenience

I am watching this talk by Clay Shirky in which, among other things, he points out that inconvenience can have value, an idea I have been talking about for over ten years now, the differences being I talk about the evils of efficiency, and no one pays me to do it.

Who would think that efficiency could be bad, or inconvenience good? Yet, this is how all security measures (among other things) function, by increasing inconvenience, slowing things down, reducing efficiency. Locks, fences, passwords, democracy, brakes, parachutes.

Just ask Wall St. what happens when things get too convenient.

Brilliant, right? Up there with my solar slot car idea, and solar roofs. And stuff.

Another old idea I’ve been thinking about this week is my formula for the Chaos Coefficient: C=(f+p)f

There’s an online calculator on my old blog, up at the top. I just tried it out, it still works. With four people in my household, and two cats and a turtle, my chaos coefficient is 2401. It will increase to 6561 when my wife picks up the two kittens on Wednesday. This means that, roughly, life will become 2.5 times more inconvenient, starting then.

But inconvenient turns out to be good, so that’s okay.