Relationship tips from Erwin Schrödinger

Dear Erwin,
My wife says I must clean up the hedgehog poo from behind the storage shelves in the cellar because the plumber is coming and will be appalled if he looks and sees it. I say if the plumber moves aside the heavily-loaded shelves to check if there is hedgehog poo underneath then he is a PSYCHO FREAK whose opinion is of no consequence and that we should wait until we are moving the shelves anyway and chisel away the excrement then. Who is right?

Dear Sleepless,
You were BOTH right until you asked. For a fastidious Austrian woman, it is correct to unload the shelves, move them aside, and chisel away the hardened coprolites, no matter whether she is the one who has to do it, or someone else gets told to. For a lazy American male who has seen too much hedgehog poo for one lifetime, it is correct to wait until the shelves are moved for another reason especially when they hide the poo and it doesn’t stink anyhow. Until the situation is examined, your mutual rightness coexisted in a non-determinate manner.
But then you asked, so I will tell you: your wife is right.
Yrs, Erwin Schrödinger

Annotated images of hedgehogs

[Please note: the following images contain profanity.]

It is hedgehog season again. Someone dear to me sent me cute pictures of adorable hedgehogs. This motivated me, since I’ve been short on inspiration lately, or at least looking the wrong way when it tries to get my attention, to find some cute pictures online and add my own texts. None of the images I used belong to me, and my apologies to whoever owns any of them. If you are the owner and want me to take one down, just let me know.


The day the hedgehogs barked

I was on the front steps saying bye to my wife who leaves a little earlier for work than I do when I noticed she was staring intently into our back yard, at a bush from underneath which was coming a sound like a chihuahua quacking like a duck.

Is that a duck? she asked.

I wondered if it might be the neighbor dog. But then my wife said, a hedgehog.

She is really good at spotting animals.

I walked over to the bush and the bark/quacking stopped. Also that whole corner of the yard stank like hedgehogs.

They have a unique odor.

The cloud of hedgehog odor was about 12’x12’x12′, and cloud-shaped.

I saw a hedgehog, then I saw a second one. Fair-sized adults. I figured they were fucking, because when they’re fighting they make a different sound, and don’t stink so much.

Time to clean out the hedgehog houses.