I was so hungry for fried chicken today it was as if I had been hungry for fried chicken all my life. Born hungry for fried chicken. And I even found myself at a KFC, at lunchtime, but still had a problem: get the regular smallish-seeming lunch, or the bucket for two people? Because they had nothing in between.

So I got the bucket for two people, and ate the whole damned thing, and now I hate fried chicken, and the Colonel looks like he got a bad face lift, and I can feel a migraine coming on.

I hate fried chicken.