So a rabbi, Bill Gates and a shadow are golfing, right?

Bill Gates says to the rabbi, so anyhow, now not only do I have all these loud tenants in my house, I have the goat, my in-laws, a giant beetle with the apple stuck in its side, a golem AAAAAYAND Bruno Schulz.

Oy, says the rabbi. Bruno Schulz is even more depressing than Kafka.

He makes Kafka look like David Sedaris, says Bill Gates.

I have a surprise for you, says the shadow.

He makes Kafka look like Amy Sedaris, says the rabbi.

He makes… says Bill Gates.

Ignore me at your peril, says the shadow.

The rabbi checks his book. Par for this hole is six, he says. I got stuck in the sand trap once here. I was in tears.

It’s a good surprise, says the shadow. You’ll like it.

Fluffier sourdough

A recent visitor to this site (from Redmond, WA) got here via a search for “fluffier sourdough.”


Until I find out otherwise, I will imagine the following:

“Goddamn it, Melinda.”

“Wut, Bill?”

“My sourdough’s not fluffy again.”

“At least the crust ain’t hard as a rock this time, Bill.”

“Grr. Also it ain’t baked all the way through.”

“Again. Well, why don’t you Bing it, darling? Look up fluffier sourdough or something.”

“I’ll do just that, dear.”

Something like that.

After all these years, I still look at my stats. Such a masochist.