The haunted doorbell

this is the terrifying story
of the haunted doorbell
the weather here has been
real hot and dry
but lately it has been cooler and
wetter and today the
constant rain started
when the constant rain starts
i think of ray bradbury’s story
about astronauts on venus
in constant rain
the second thing that happens when
the constant rain starts
is our haunted doorbell starts
its creepy half-ring
my wife just called me at work
and said, it’s ringing again,
and she said, what should i do?
i said she should, first of all
put on rubber gloves.
i didn’t say, wait until i get home,
i said, put on rubber gloves, first of all.
then pry off the cover
there are no screws, it just pops off
but careful not to break it
then you want to unhook the two wires
there are two screws
loosen the screws but
don’t touch them
even with rubber gloves
nothing would happen, you would
just get a little shock
(a medium shock, in fact)
then when the screws are loose
pull out the wires
easy as that
she said she would wait until i came home
isn’t it too creepy, that
creepy haunted doorbell
half ringing all day?
i told her to call the guy
to look at the heating and he could
do the doorbell while he was there
she said, he’s a plumber not an electrician
but he could do two screws, i said
you can do it when you get home
she said

3 responses to “The haunted doorbell

  1. Karan

    Maybe you can do with a ship’s bell then it will only ring when the wind blows hard.

  2. mig

    Zoltan came and disconnected the doorbell so you don’t get a shock when you ring it outside on the street and told my wife, by no means mess with the indoor part it can kill you. Either he is exaggerating or some people are more easily electrocuted than others, all it did to me was rattle my bones and teeth.

  3. mig

    Zoltan said, I later heard, that he got a shock when he arrived and tried to ring the doorbell out on the street. Didn’t you get a shock? He asked my wife. I don’t ring my own doorbell, my wife said. Later a delivery person delivered something. We found it on our doorstep that night. My wife found it on the doorstep. On the welcome mat. If the delivery person had rung the doorbell – which we assume happened – we didn’t hear it, because Zoltan had disconnected it by then. On the bright side, the delivery person also didn’t get a shock.
    Not from the haunted doorbell, at least.