Question: Will three crows eat a whole ham sandwich?

Methodology: Sit on bench, feed sandwich to crows.

Conclusion: Yes. Without thinking twice about whether or not you might be hungry.

Conditions: Cloudy, timeless, unseasonably warm, as usual.

What say the slain?

Wenn mich wer angreift, sag ich immer…

A crowded station, a little boy, talking to a friend: When somebody attacks me, I always say…

What?

Who knows. You didn’t hear it. Like a piece of bark floating away on a creek with lots of other pieces of bark floating on it too, you lose sight of him even though it is possible you still have him in your field of vision.

The universe forks here, depending on what he always says when attacked.

The possibilities are huge.

Like in an old science fiction story you forgot most of except that it went on forever.

Detailing each single possible variant.

My dad’s a cop: when he always says that you go to work and skip lunch and are hungry when you get home and dinner tastes great.

When you attack me, you are attacking yourself: when he always says that, a woman loses a nickel in a vending machine and decides to stop eating sugar.

I know karate: when he always says that, your mind gets trapped in a loop trying to understand how you can love life but be instantly filled with chill despair when someone asks you if you love your life, leading to huge misunderstandings you are still sorting out.

You meet a generous person. Winter is snowless. You see the devil’s face in a bare tree full of mistletoe. The universe continues to expand. Crop circles are a hoax. Crop circles are not a hoax. You discover a cure for ennui.

Endless.