Mr. Cordyceps decides to approach life scientifically, to the extent that he is capable of that, in the sense of testing hypotheses. That is, he decides to conduct a series of experiments in which he devises a hypothesis, then tests it in the field, after which he will consider the hypothesis disproven and reject it, or proven, and accept it, or adjust the hypothesis and test it further.
The first hypothesis he decides to test is that his wife is always right.
The experiment he devises to test this hypothesis is quite simple, and involves, initially, doing everything she tells him to do when she tells him to do it, rather than resisting her input and doing what he would normally do.
The results of this initial experiment are as follows: the hypothesis is true, his wife is always right.
The second hypothesis he decides to test is that, ceteris paribus, there is a causal link between caloric intake and body weight. This hypothesis also corresponds to experimental data.
Mr. Cordyceps decides to continue his scientific investigation of life.
i believe i’ve just guffawed. what a noise it made!