Put on your bathing suit, swim around. Stand by the bubble jets. Swim to another pool, the one with salt water and music playing below the surface so the bass riffs sort of goose you. Swim over to a third pool. Go to the sauna area, get naked. Try out the steam room. Take another shower. Try out the “castle sauna” with interesting antique-looking paneling inside. Get something to drink. Go to a meditation room, with fake stalactites and stuff, and water beds to rest on, and lights and a looped recording of new age music. Get up 45 minutes later. “Gosh, I almost fell asleep,” you say. “You were snoring for a few minute there,” your spouse says. Eat lunch. Go to the Finnish sauna. Some show off does an “Aufguss” which is a ceremony where he pours water over the stones and flaps a towel around, the instant humidity really makes you sweat. When he finishes everyone claps. Then back to the meditation room for a few more minutes, get something else to drink, and over to the Asian meditation room. Different looped tape of new age music, this time piano, harp, strings and either a singing saw or a very wild soprano. Then over to the massage room for a full body massage.

I don’t see how people do it. Man am I happy I have to work tomorrow.