50 things I want to do before I am 50

  1. Relax, which eliminates the other 49 because I turn 50 in May and scurrying around to achieve a bunch of stuff would just be a big headache, even if I managed to get my wife to organize stuff, like she used to, but she’s on this DIY kick now,  as in, ‘do it yourself, Mig.’
  2. Although: do celebrities count as things?

What was in my coffee this morning? The scoops weren’t any bigger than usual, and I didn’t even finish the pot* but I’m sitting here smoking my slicks like a dragster, man. What a week: Monday my daughter axed me for money for the train to France because how long can a girl be expected to exist without Urban Decay products? Tuesday I write a story for a book and it is accepted after some revision to add additional craziness. Today, who can say what today will bring?

Here in Austria one is expected to ask for something big for one’s “round birthdays”, otherwise the guests at the expensive dinners you are expected to pay for feel uneasy or something. You’ve always wanted to see Iceland, someone said to me, for example. Actually, I’ve always wanted tickets to Sigur Ros, and find Björk hot in a björkish way, but it would be nice to see a geyser and a pony and people shaking their fists outside banks and stuff.** I’ve wanted to go to Scandinavia in general. To the North. To places where it is not so fucking sunny, and you can see the Northern Lights. Aurora borealis: a summer or winter phenomenon? And, I say not so sunny, but the days are longer in summer, so does it average out? I say not so sunny, but if it’s dark most of the time that might be overdoing that, winter-wise.

Here is what I know about Scandinavia, besides Apocalyptica:

Sweden has moose and mosquitos

In bars in Copenhagen, the bartenders are topless and Filipino transvestites hit on you.

Norway: ???

Finland: Nokia, interesting choirs, Leningrad Cowboys.

So an educational trip would be appropriate.

OTOH, are dobro ukuleles any good? They sure look neat.

*of coffee, dur

**in truth, if any Icelanders are reading this, I have wanted to see Iceland for a long time and I know it is a very beautiful place. I am not slagging your country.

8 responses to “50 things I want to do before I am 50

  1. Jann

    “Two tickets to Stockholm please.”

    Have you seen this?


    One of my favorite ads, but I actually had to google it to find what the heck they were advertising!

  2. If you go to Iceland, you might get to watch the angry natives burn and ransack the Parliament! That, plus the fermented rotting shark, is worth the price of a plane ticket, with or without Bjork.

  3. anne

    Next year (I mean next March/April) I have a strong feeling that K and I are going to see the Northern Lights so if you can make “before you’re 51″ your goal, I will do everything I can to find an awesome package deal on that. Or Nudge Me pretty hard and I’ll look at this September/October. Because K is mad for it, and it’s on my “before I die” list, and hey, how long do we have before the economy collapses and we can’t even buy bread with our good looks anymore?

  4. Bauke

    Friends of mine went to Iceland and ended up in a bar on day one. When they went to another bar on day 2, people already knew that the were “The guys from Portugal”.

  5. Name Required, Esq.

    I didn’t have any before 50 things, maybe to have a fair bit of German under my belt. However, we moved to a new country and commenced learning a different but related language this year. As it turned out, when the big day for which I had no plans arrived last Fall, my wife came home with a raging case of food poisoning. If there’s a lesson, it escapes me. Half a century…pffft.

  6. Buttonhole

    That’s a funny comment Bauke said!
    I let Sigur Ros slip away from me on this last tour and it WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. I don’t care how far I have to go. Do you hear me?

  7. Jacob

    The northern lights thing is a winter passtime. As I understand it, it has to be dark, clear, and (you guessed it) cold!

    Go to Iceland for the outdoor heated swimming pools in the cold season (which covers most of the year anyway). Forget the Blue Lagoon, public swimming pools are so much more fun.

    And check out Stilluppsteypa (drone electro stuff) and Benny Crespo’s Gang (rock ala Radiohead or Muse).