8th metamorphosism.com International Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest


Time for the 8th (I think) annual Metamorphosism International Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest.

Enter in the comments to this post.
Winners will be announced on 14 February, 2009.
ENTER AS OFTEN AS YOU LIKE!!! But read the rules before entering! Or else!



  1. Poems entered must be an actual limerick. We are strict about this.
  2. Entries must contain a Latin word or phrase.
  3. Extra points awarded for working in one of the following: a king, a burlesque performer, an extinct or rare musical instrument, a prosthesis, NEW: an obsolete, extinct or rare musical instrument. NEW RULE CHANGE HERE: No kings, prostheses or obsolete musical instruments after all. All entries with kings, prostheses or obsolete musical instruments will be disqualified. Unusual or innovative musical instruments will still be allowed. Instead of kings, extra points will be awarded for parasitic diseases affecting the behavior of rats. Prostheses and prosthetic devices shall be replaced by surgical equipment.
  4. NEW RULES (made necessary by the unfortunate flame war in the entries): entries are to include themes of general bawdiness, redeption and reconciliation. Bonus characters: famous peace activists, famous ventriloquists, escape artists. Bonus languages: Latin, Icelandic.
  5. Rules subject to change without warning (changes will be posted here or in a subsequent post)

(Note: Over the years, a number of rude etc expressions have been added to the comment blacklist so if the comments refuse your entry that might be the reason. In that case, mail it to me at metamorphosist (at) gmail dot c0m and I’ll set you up.)

Feel free to search this site for past winners. Good luck.

234 responses to “8th metamorphosism.com International Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest

  1. Jann

    We heard Mark Deutsch play the bazantar,
    We know now to rhyme it with lantern,
    That’s without the “n”,
    Now let’s try this again,
    O merda! We’ll rhyme it with panther!

  2. Trish

    Ann is Jann, Jann is Ann, not man
    There’s only one girl in her gang
    So perhaps we’ll be missed
    By the rats we’ve not kissed
    But not by anon, Jann or Ann

  3. Trish

    There once was a man from Mount Lucas

    Who had shocking pain from his verucas
    Ex parte, his wife
    Whipped them off with a knife
    Amber Marie would have used her bazoukas

  4. mn

    Jann, i confess that Anon it is I
    I sent her in as a spy
    I’m glad that she fooled ya
    Cos i send her inter alia
    to see with whom you would lie

  5. Jann

    I have thought for a time re this game,
    The three of you; one and the same,
    But it don’t really matter,
    It’s just so much chatter,
    Re vera, the whole thing’s quite lame.

  6. Jann

    Well, what I still say is “Game on,”
    And it’s quite fun to write to Anon,
    “I think you’re quite sexy,
    “Don’t get apoplexy,
    “Or you might not wake up come the dawn.”

  7. Anon

    I’m sorry Jann, I prefer Muireann
    Her breasts are firm, she’s quite a woman
    You say her verse is quite lame
    Oh how could you so defame
    Though nox erat, there’s nothing stirrin’

  8. Jann

    Anon, it’s just fun that I poke,
    How sad that you don’t get the joke,
    I don’t think you’re funny,
    Nor sexy, poor Honey,
    Ad rem. More a pig in a poke!

  9. Anon

    Poke rhyming with poke, how novel
    I think after this you will grovel
    Your pig talk is loco
    See I’ve seen your photo
    Your face darling does rather trouble

  10. Anon

    My friend Trish said that was quite cruel
    you could in fact be a jewel
    re vera you’re a stranger
    and there is no danger
    I’ve seen your photo at school

  11. Anon

    You’re right, it has got quite tawdry
    reminds me of sad burlesque Audrey
    She started quite sweet
    but fell on her feet
    inter alia power swept her away

  12. Jann

    Your insults will do you no good,
    It’s you they hurt, and so they should,
    For me it’s all fun,
    For all and for one,
    Ad rem? Go on out to the wood!

  13. Anon

    Jann, it’s just fun that I poke,
    How sad that you don’t get the joke,
    I don’t think you’re funny,
    Nor sexy, poor Honey,
    Ad rem. More a pig in a poke!

  14. Jann

    Anon, it is true you’re quite boring,
    Re vera, I’m quite close to snoring,
    You see, I have a name,
    You don’t; not the same!!!!
    You’d sure not get anyone soaring!

  15. Jann

    Anon, you won’t tell who you are,
    Indeed, this has gone way too far,
    I’m so sad for you,
    I might say boo hoo,
    Ad rem. Go get drunk in a bar!

  16. mn

    I told you above I invented anon
    But now I feel quite put upon
    I don’t want to spar
    you have gone too far
    I’ll be in the woods until you’re gone

  17. Jann

    Anon, you’re untruthful by far,
    This “contest” has got quite bizarre,
    You’ve stolen my verse,
    That’s sure worth a curse,
    Aw c’mon now. Admit who you are.

  18. mn

    My name is Muireann, larger than life
    A little burlesque, a lousy wife
    I’m quick on my feet
    Not all that meek
    And good friends I tend to keep

  19. Jann

    Muireann, I just don’t give a hoot,
    Lousy wife or a good one, to boot,
    I just talk to Anon,
    Who is pulling a con,
    So get out of my way now, toot toot!

  20. Anon

    There is obviously no talking to you Jann
    Over and out

  21. Jann

    Nor to you, either, “Anon”

  22. Trish

    See you anon, Anon

  23. mn

    And so Anon had finally departed
    Trish wondered how it all started
    Re her hamster who died
    Her friend had just tried
    to make proceedings lighthearted

  24. mn

    Isn’t it funny what Limericks reveal
    My mater poo pooed their appeal
    She said they were drivel
    No more than a scribble
    But to me the encounter was real

  25. mn

    Yes I mentioned my mother above
    A scholar who does latin love
    she queried “culpum”
    But it does rhyme with bum
    Re Latin she thinks I’m a dud

  26. mn

    re valentine massacre I’m sorry
    Got carried away in the flurry
    Trish you’re my best friend
    didn’t mean to offend
    mea culpa, begob and begorry

  27. mn

    Now Trish is in bed with the flu
    At least broadband is fixed, yahoo
    Do floosies get flu/sick?
    Burlseque Amber Marie did
    But that was more in re the coup

  28. Paul

    King Tut reclines in lux sit
    or so he always thought it
    but his queen told him
    so royally dim
    Means not, “Comfy Chair”. you git.

    Crappy rhyme but do i get extra points for working in our Alma Mater’s logo? (Which I still believe must mean “Comfy Chair”)?

  29. Ann

    The word “king” means the entry is out,
    Yes, that’s what the rules are about,
    But some do not read them,
    Or p’rhaps just don’t heed them,
    Ad rem: the instructions they flout!

  30. Ann

    A man who had got Toxoplasma,
    Tried to pass as a dancer named Yasma,
    He got fake bazooms,
    But they popped just like balloons,
    And gave off noxious fumes that caused asthma!

  31. Rish

    The words “fake bazooms” mean you’re out.
    Yes that’s what the rules are about.
    A prosthetic factor
    Ergo my anal retractor
    Reckons here too the rules have no clout.

  32. Ann

    These rules mean not so much to thee,
    Some people exceed decency,
    People write what they want,
    Maybe all should exeunt,
    Male fide! That’s indeed what I see.

  33. Ann

    Ann is my name, in the middle,
    From the day I was born; it’s no riddle,
    But I think there’s no Rish,
    Nor even a Trish,
    Ad rem? I say fiddle de diddle.

  34. Thomas

    Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio
    Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,
    Caritatis et patientiae,
    Humilitatis et obedientiae,
    Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.

  35. Irene

    Let it be for the elimination for my sins,
    For the expulsion of desire and lust,
    [And] for the increase of charity and patience,
    Humility and obedience,
    As well as all the virtues.

  36. Ann

    It’s great that there now are more entrants,
    Though some, I have heard, have no pants,
    The more people there are,
    The more fun by far,
    Even though some are given to rants!

  37. Ann

    The lady could play the bazantar,
    While riding her horse at a canter,
    The circus she joined,
    Though act was purloined,
    She could play just as well on a panther!

  38. Rish

    But Rish, too, is my name in part.
    I’ve got pants galore, and a heart.
    I do strum on my lute, hey!
    And sing “Et tu, Rute”
    And I do it all, dressed as a tart.

  39. Jann

    That’s what Ann just said, uh, ahem,
    We’ve got entrants galore, ad idem,
    Who cares what their names are,
    It’s more what their games are,
    Can they write some good limericks, ad rem?

  40. Pingback: Metamorphosism» Blog Archive » On the Decline of Blogging and the Metamorphosism St. Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest Massacre Last-Minute Rule Change

  41. mn

    Poor Muireann is just out of court
    she finally went back to work
    what’s this – a rule change?
    and nasty exchange?
    Icelandic? in re I only know Bjork

  42. mn

    Iceland? is that not the shop?
    where everything’s frozen and chopped
    me and Cholita latina know our matina
    But per Icelandic we are at a loss

  43. mn

    Rish I think we have been a bit rash
    we banged off our poems in a dash
    islanska’s the rule
    we’ll just have to pool
    and get inter alia mish mash

  44. mn

    Ég heiti Muireann Ég er frá Ireland
    My Mater once dated Doug Garland
    But i’m not nitpicking
    And i’m certainly not sticking
    to limericks that come from Iceland

  45. mn

    I’m sorry i had to drop out
    But love rat got struck down with gout
    It made my poor honey
    get tight with his money
    and he gave me nil per mouth

  46. mn

    i’m sorry i’m off to the Opera
    with James and Burlesque Deborah
    then they’re coming for dinner
    so i can’t be the winner
    Good luck trish,ergo i love ya

  47. mn

    I’m sad now to go but that’s that
    I loved Jann and Ann and our spat
    But I’m off to a show
    As you already know
    Góða nótt or nox erat

  48. mn

    Ah Mig I love when it’s vicious
    Nastiness can be quite delicious
    pursued by a bear
    Exeunt there and there
    Gangi þér vel my old Trish us

  49. Jann

    Muireann, our spat’s all in the past,
    With me, things like that never last,
    My favorite, Moon Líly,
    Still loves her hill bílly,
    They dance off their pants; what a blast!

  50. Jann

    The bawdy performer Moon Líly,
    Has a husband, six kids, and a filly,
    Has bazookas galore,
    Still looks twenty-four,
    And owns ten shows ‘tween here and Philly.