8th metamorphosism.com International Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest
PLEASE NOTE NEW, EMERGENCY, (literally) LAST-DAY RULE CHANGES BELOW!!!11!!!!
Time for the 8th (I think) annual Metamorphosism International Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest.
Enter in the comments to this post.
Winners will be announced on 14 February, 2009.
ENTER AS OFTEN AS YOU LIKE!!! But read the rules before entering! Or else!
IMPORTANT NOTICE: THERE HAS BEEN A SMALL CHANGE IN THE RULES FOR THIS YEAR’S CONTEST!!
SECOND IMPORTANT NOTICE! THERE HAS BEEN ANOTHER RULE CHANGE!
- Poems entered must be an actual limerick. We are strict about this.
- Entries must contain a Latin word or phrase.
- Extra points awarded for working in one of the following: a king, a burlesque performer, an extinct or rare musical instrument, a prosthesis, NEW: an obsolete, extinct or rare musical instrument. NEW RULE CHANGE HERE: No kings, prostheses or obsolete musical instruments after all. All entries with kings, prostheses or obsolete musical instruments will be disqualified. Unusual or innovative musical instruments will still be allowed. Instead of kings, extra points will be awarded for parasitic diseases affecting the behavior of rats. Prostheses and prosthetic devices shall be replaced by surgical equipment.
- NEW RULES (made necessary by the unfortunate flame war in the entries): entries are to include themes of general bawdiness, redeption and reconciliation. Bonus characters: famous peace activists, famous ventriloquists, escape artists. Bonus languages: Latin, Icelandic.
- Rules subject to change without warning (changes will be posted here or in a subsequent post)
(Note: Over the years, a number of rude etc expressions have been added to the comment blacklist so if the comments refuse your entry that might be the reason. In that case, mail it to me at metamorphosist (at) gmail dot c0m and I’ll set you up.)
Feel free to search this site for past winners. Good luck.
Jann said:
Jan 20, 09 at 1:53 pmTwo questions:
Is the limerick, as before, required to be about love or some form of human attraction?
Does it have to be a real king (Henry VIII, for example), or just a generic king?
Jann said:
Jan 20, 09 at 2:22 pmDo Latin words which have been incorporated into the English language count?
Jann said:
Jan 20, 09 at 3:24 pmThe king said his love gave him herpes,
In his throat, which had lessened his burp ease,
He said, “Off with her head,”
And then when she was dead,
Her belongings were split up per stirpes.
mig said:
Jan 20, 09 at 3:38 pmrule clarification:
1. rules subject to change without notice
2. human attraction is always good
3. real (or fictional) kings are better than generic kings
4. bona fide latin phrases will get you more points.
mig said:
Jan 20, 09 at 3:41 pm(ps if anyone is wondering what happened to some of the limericks in some of the previous contests, some of the archives here on metamorphosism got truncated in the move to the new host a few months ago, alas)
Jann said:
Jan 21, 09 at 3:22 pmDesiree played the didgeridoo,
But for women, that seems a taboo,
She played for her lover,
He ran and took cover,
“Eo ipso, bad things come to you.”
k said:
Jan 21, 09 at 10:23 pmOMG. i turn around and it’s valentine’s day coming again. without you and this contest, i’d barely notice.
Jann said:
Jan 27, 09 at 4:52 pmThe man said, “Please judge, I no hit her,
“I love her, it’s true, I no bit her,
“My prosthesis, she trip on,
“The setee, cut her lip on,”
The judge said, “Res ipsa lo-QUI-tur.”
Jann said:
Jan 27, 09 at 5:03 pmSettee; s-e-t-t-e-e; not setee!
Trish said:
Jan 30, 09 at 4:21 pmIn a seranade to Elvis Pres-LEY
While putting his Aquaggasack in key.
Russell Brand said ‘peccavi’
Me ball-bags are a hemioplasty,
So I did it with Georgina Baillie.
Jann said:
Jan 31, 09 at 12:47 am“The theorbo’s extinct, that I think,
“From the 1750’s, ab hinc.”
Said her love, “That’s a lute,
“And I don’t give a hoot,
“So let’s not get our brains out of sync.”
Jann said:
Jan 31, 09 at 12:52 amThey billed her as Amber Marie,
But the Englishman said, “It can’t be!
“It’s in Sydney she dances,
“She strips and she prances,
“Cave! Hold your cash! It’s not she.”
sue said:
Feb 01, 09 at 3:23 pmHum, so much for getting any work done in the nest few days…. Latin ? I learned Greek and ancient Hebrew, always handy when bumping into an old Patriarch.
Jann said:
Feb 01, 09 at 9:17 pm“The theorbo’s extinct, so you think,
“From the 1750’s, ab hinc?,
“For you thoughts about lutes,
“I don’t give two hoots,
“Just make sure that the gues play in sync!”
Jann said:
Feb 01, 09 at 9:34 pmMithridates, he died very old,
That’s the story, the way it was told,
Although poisons they gave him,
His potions would save him,
“Semper paratus!” His motto! I’m sold!
The first line is a variation of, “Mithridates, he died old,” from A.E. Housman’s “Terence, This is Stupid Stuff” (A Shropshire Lad)
Jann said:
Feb 02, 09 at 4:14 pmThe küsle he played; that’s a zither,
To coax the fair maids to come hither,
Then an orgy ensued,
And with conduct quite lewd,
Deus meus! Now the town’s in a dither!
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 03, 09 at 7:42 pmSince I think the time of King John
I’m sure the emiriton’s gone
de gustibus non est disputandum
The accordion’s now number one
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 03, 09 at 7:42 pmThe melodium invented by Bode
Did not catch on so I’m told
Von teese let it go and King Zog thought poor show
And he legged it back up the road
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 03, 09 at 7:43 pmWhen Georgina had first tried the sachs
King George would not have said pax
Complaints weren’t in it, with a lyre she did swing it
Then her false leg fell into the jacks
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 8:21 amThe melodium invented by Bode
Did not catch on so I’m told
Von teese let it go
and King Zog thought poor show
And he legged it back up the road
Since I think the time of King John
I’m sure the emiriton’s gone
de gustibus non
est disputandum
The accordion’s now number one
When Georgina had first tried the sachs
King George would not have said pax
Complaints weren’t in it,
with a lyre she did swing it
Then her false leg fell into the jacks
Muireann cannot believe
That her friend would then plead
That her limericks were terribly wonky
one line not returned for this she must burn
it’s not her poems but her friend that is manqué
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 10:55 amNon omnis moriar
If I cannot have a jar
With king George who is fond of the sonar
But I cannot defend that my very good friend
Would return and return to disbar
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 10:56 amThe melodium invented by Bode
Did not catch on so I’m told
Von teese let it go
and King Zog thought poor show
And he legged it back up the road
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 10:57 amSince I think the time of King John
I’m sure the emiriton’s gone
de gustibus non
est disputandum
The accordion’s now number one
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 10:58 amWhen Georgina had first tried the sachs
King George would not have said pax
Complaints weren’t in it,
with a lyre she did swing it
Then her false leg fell into the jacks
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 11:42 amI have just been dumped by a fella
He was no King Zog I can tell ya
He could have just phoned
Instead he wrote me a poem
His false leg was the true casus belli
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 3:36 pmMy husband found poems to this fellow
I’ve latterly christened Othello
My credit’s expired,
He called me a lyre
Mens sana in corpore sano
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 3:41 pmMy husband has no underpants
He did a burlesque little dance
If I spent time washing clothes
instead of on poems
We would have, inter alia, pants
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 3:44 pmJann’s your man for the Limericks I think
Not at all what you might call a fink
King Mithridates’ his friend.
Oh he’ll win in the end
And his prize? A lute and a wink
Jann said:
Feb 04, 09 at 4:05 pmHa ha! I like your limericks, Muireann! But, for the record, Jann is a lady. Well, a woman anyway; she hopes she’s a lady.
Jann said:
Feb 04, 09 at 4:11 pmSaid the king, “You may write what’s quite lewd,
“But some Latin you all must include,”
But this throws off the timing,
Plays hell with the rhyming,
So merda! Now we say things quite rude!
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 5:03 pmI just heard that Jann’s not a man
And I heard she can do the cancan
She’s related to Zog,
Who is rather a dog
aut viam inveniam aut faciam
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 5:04 pmMy husband and I are ad idem
My boyfriend is just causing mayhem
With a didgeridoo
he is now trying to woo
Lolita, King Zog’s dancing cousin
Jann said:
Feb 04, 09 at 5:24 pmLim’ricks should not be about me,
All the more with untruths I can see,
Would I call you a dog?,
Or imply you’re a hog?,
I would not! What the heck’s wrong with thee?!
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 04, 09 at 8:54 pmWhat the heck is the matter with me?
I asked that when I saw him flee
His damned hurdy gurdy
Was not all that sturdy
Pox vobiscum to him and to thee
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 12:07 amWith rage the king shook in his shoes,
“Absit omen! This must be a ruse,”
For his fiddler from Riga,
Played only the giga,
And his lutists would play only gues!
Trish said:
Feb 05, 09 at 6:33 amHis damn hurdy gurdy was flacid
And King Zog’s royal assent was quite tacit
But when he read of T’s pants
And his little burlesque dance,
said “Aut insanit homo, aut versus facit”
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 05, 09 at 8:21 amMuireann Noonan is not too amused
That her poems are being abused
It’s just tit for tat
versus pestilent rats
Ergo Von Teese will have to show boobs
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 2:34 pmWhen bloggers play coy with rules,
Their contests are labors for fools,
“You say you want Latin?”
“Not at all, I meant satin,”
Cave! Lest the fans lose their cools.
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 3:55 pmWe came to hear Mark play bazantar,
Now we’re musing, “Does that rhyme with canter?,
“Does one say bazan-TAR,
“So it rhymes with bizarre?”
“Tacete! He plays. Stop the banter!”
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 4:45 pmThe burlesque performer Moon Líly,
Ran off with a handsome hill bílly,
They lived in Kentucky,
Which she thought quite ducky,
“Valete,” to both husbands in Philly.
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 5:04 pmHe played lovely tunes on his zither,
And summoned the young virgins hither,
The night was quite mild,
He left three with child,
Eo ipso! His mentula will wither!
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 5:09 pmSaid Miguel, “You may write what’s quite lewd,
“But some Latin you all must include,”
But this throws off the timing,
Plays hell with the rhyming,
So merda! Now we say things quite rude!
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 5:12 pmThe man said, “Please judge, I no hit her,
“I love her, it’s true, I no bit her,
“My scalpel, she trip on,
“The settee, cut her lip on,”
The judge said, “Res ipsa lo-QUI-tur.”
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 5:16 pmMy liege said his love gave him herpes,
In his throat, which had lessened his burp ease,
He said, “Off with her head,”
And then when she was dead,
Her belongings were divied per stirpes.
Jann said:
Feb 05, 09 at 5:38 pmToxoplasma gondii found in rats,
Makes of them easy meals for cats,
Their behavior it alters,
Normal caution, it falters,
Now my cat has the nickname of “Fats”!
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:06 amTrish rang me for almost an hour
Cos a love rat had brought me a flower
Me and Dita had a close shave
Love rats do misbehave
Ergo don’t give the pests any power
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:10 amJann, now that I know you’re a girl
Why don’t we just give it a whirl
We’d meet in the rats keller,
I won’t tell my feller
It would just cause his brow to furl
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:16 amI just haven’t told you this yet
That I have been attending a Vet
My rat’s weils make him smile
We’ll be there a while
Ergo please keep it all a secret
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:19 amIs there something wrong with your time?
It seems to be four hours behind
When I post up a note
which I then con by rote
It is breakfast not supper on line
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:25 amAm I bugging you now with my verse
It’s a pestilent poxridden curse
But composing lines
And not working is fine
Until underpants time there’s a dearth
mig said:
Feb 06, 09 at 10:03 amThe protozoan toxoplasmosis
causes fever and mild psychosis
in both rats and fools
who like changing rules
But it still beats coronary thrombosis
Jann said:
Feb 06, 09 at 4:15 pmThe doc’s hemostat, it’s gone missing,
His bosses will him be dismissing,
For he left it inside,
The lovely young bride,
Who’ll no longer her husband be kissing.
Jann said:
Feb 06, 09 at 4:38 pmHer forceps, she just could not find,
“O merda! I’ve left them behind,
“I think in that patient,
“Whose tumor was nascent,
“Back to surg’ry, and please God be kind!”
Jann said:
Feb 06, 09 at 5:24 pmThe lady had toxoplasmosis,
But her doc said, “You have sarcoidosis,”
His wrong treatment, I think,
Is what caused her to drink,
In a year she was dead of cirrhosis!
Jann said:
Feb 06, 09 at 7:12 pmMuireann, we should meet in Cancun,
Ad idem! It should be quite soon,
Be like Amber Marie,
And we’ll wear a wet tee,
And cancan beneath the full moon!
(Amber Marie is a burlesque performer in Sydney, see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXxVueMrrKM )
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:21 pmBruté my cat was a hoot
He ate two rats and a coot
My dad said he would pay him
If he would just slay them
Et tu brute? Here is some loot
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:23 pmWell I had to say to my cat
When he brought me home that small rat
Who was doing a twirl
like a small burlesque girl
Audentes fortuna juvat
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 8:42 pmI’m getting bored of this old one two
I’d prefer the shorter hai-ku
You can be just as witty without the forced ditty
And you don’t have to mention rat’s poo
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 06, 09 at 9:11 pmAgain I mention the rat
And the lion and the witch and the hat
It is so so boring
my lover is snoring
The pox, surgeries, et cetera
Jann said:
Feb 06, 09 at 10:20 pmMuireann, we could go to Capri,
And dance just like Amber Marie,
We’d wear our wet tee shirts,
And with all the he’s flirt,
Ad idem? What say you? Oui, oui?
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 1:56 pmPoor Muireann had just gone to ground
The mad rat had gone back to the pound
She was all in a dither
Then Jann said come hither
(Post scriptum she’s now still around)
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 2:09 pmOh I missed the one re Cancun
Can we go, can we go very soon?
My man has just dumped me
Said I was too lumpy
But I look good by the light of the moon
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 2:46 pmI really have rather good breasts
I’ll show them at punters’ behests
But cut me with a scalpel
I won’t show my ankles
Ps amber marie’s are the best
Jann said:
Feb 07, 09 at 3:20 pmThe surgeon mislaid his retractor,
That was only, re vera, one factor,
He came to work drunk,
And then passed out, kerplunk,
Now he plays an MD; he’s an actor.
Jann said:
Feb 07, 09 at 4:13 pmThe doc had his license suspended,
But, de jure, his career was not ended,
He tossed, through his curses,
Bloody tools at the nurses,
And left a sick dame unattended.
(This ia a true story; the suspension was for two years)
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 4:30 pmLook Jann doesn’t seem to be packing
Instead she is just bloody yakking
Re vera re amber marie
Re rats who have fleas
Re surgeons who’re up for a sacking
Jann said:
Feb 07, 09 at 5:49 pmMy pet rat got toxoplasmosis,
And a not quite so mild psychosis,
Tried to play with the cat,
Got the worst out of that,
So re vera, a bad diagnosis.
Jann said:
Feb 07, 09 at 7:49 pmThe theremin’s liked by Miguel,
But I think that this thing’s a hard sell,
The sounds, one can cause,
By waving one’s paws,
But just those with headphones can tell!
Jann said:
Feb 07, 09 at 7:57 pmThe theremin’s liked by Miguel,
But re vera, this thing’s a hard sell,
The sounds, one can cause,
By waving one’s paws,
But just those with headphones can tell!
(Oops, forgot the Latin the first time)
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:45 pmTrish and I have just lost our zest
I was dumped; her hamster decessed
I took to the drink her online’s on the blink
We bow out of the Jannual contest
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:46 pmThere once was a woman from kroken
Whose hamster got wet and was soaking
He died of the cold before the vet could be told
He should never have taken up smoking
Trish said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:48 pmWell she wrapped the wee rat in a towel
rubbed its heart and vacated its bowel
she rubbed its soft head
said Lord take me instead
and lamented its skinny drawn jowls
Trish said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:49 pmshe thought about telling her boy
to whom speedy had brought so much joy
and she knew that his tears
would be trumped by his tears
and she wished a replacement to buy
Trish said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:50 pmand while kroken was quieted with grief
to the hamster ’twas quite a relief
and while Euan was in mourning
his godmother was spawning
cold verse quite beyond his belief
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:51 pmGodmother has taken to bed
not because the poor hamster’s dead
but because she was bold
and bad things did unfold
and she now has a pain in her head
Trish said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:53 pmOh no! She’s been bad yet again
Did she fall to verse as is her ken?
Auntie Noreen said ‘don’t’
but listen, she won’t
Now her bed bears the brunt not her pen
Trish said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:54 pmthe hamster we cannot arouse her
and it is not the fault of the mouser
a new cage was brought back
and of grain a large sack
in Donatio Mortis Causa
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:55 pmWell that’s a very strange story
with not a small measure of glory
the hamster is dead
godmother’s in bed
you could say in momentum mori
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:56 pmWell I said in momentum mori
but that wasn’t the end of the story
she got up for a curry
to the jax in a hurry
Deus Meus! a big liquid glory
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:57 pmSorry that was Trish above, not me. I would never make faecal references.
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 07, 09 at 8:59 pmWell that’s the end of the story
poor speedy buried with glory
love rat departed
speedy non started
it’s a funny old world de jure
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 9:05 amthe old rat was terribly itchy
a pox was the cause, don’t be bitchy
the vet was astounded
his friends he all rounded
crying itchy rat, veni vidi vici
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 9:51 amoh my God, i’ve them all in a rage
i was posting on the wrong page
putting trish in as well,
oh a rat they will smell
they’ll disqualify me at some stage
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 9:52 amCan i send you a message from Trish
There’s a fault with her satellite dish
she’s bored and she’s cold
and her husband did scold
in re something to do with a fish
Trish said:
Feb 08, 09 at 9:53 amThe mouser no longer could scare him
Truth be told, Speedy never could bear him
Though he did try his best
To put scalpel to rest
And by the graveside he sang Ave Verum
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 9:59 amTrish tells me that mouser’s a cat
The hamster and he had a spat
But I’d be telling a lie
If I blamed his demise
Audentes fortuna juvat
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 10:11 amWell when is Valentine’s day?
And how will love rat behave?
Will it take a forceps
to extract his wallet
Cave, we’ll make love in a cave
Trish said:
Feb 08, 09 at 12:51 pmNa cuir aon cheist orm faoi mo dhan
Gan dabht is fearr e na amhran
ach glacfaidh me sos
is beidh me i mo thost
caca Milis agus Sharan Ni Bheoileain
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 12:56 pmTa mo mhathair as Arainn don’t you know
Agus meascainn siad na teangai like so
nil aon gaeilge are rat,
I’ll guarantee that
na scalpel, na toxoplasmosis, na snow
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 1:01 pmTo love rat whose behaviour had changed
lovesick a disease not yet named
non omnis moriar if i do not see stars
when love rat is proved to have mange
Trish said:
Feb 08, 09 at 2:28 pmThe love rat went up for election
he needed a change of direction
so in clinical trials
he denied his travails
and stood against all vivisection
Trish said:
Feb 08, 09 at 2:29 pmThe trials were conducted at random
the laboratories now wished they’d banned him
He crept in with his mange
and made his friends feel strange
inter alia, quod est demonstrandum
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 2:37 pmDon’t you talk badly of my love rat
lay off or i’ll knock you out flat
although he’s not mine
i think he’s divine
Mirable dictu that’s that
Anon said:
Feb 08, 09 at 2:50 pmI think Muireann and Trish should both be disqualified. They seem to be using this competition as a forum to air their petty grievances and are not taking the competition seriously. For example in the last 28 posts there has been no mention of a burlesque performer and only one or two references to scalpels. Some of the limericks seem to be written in an unidentified foreign language and could have any meaning. How can that be judged? They should at least be asked for a translation. Also the limericks are of poor quality and there are too many of them. There should be a cap on the number of limericks allowed and there should be more control of unruly participants.
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 3:00 pmNow come come Anon, put your thinking cap on
Amber Marie ran away with the surgeon
we’ve done rat’s death to death
We were almost obsessed
Trish et Muireann adfuerunt pugnatum
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 3:09 pmOh who gives a curse, we are not well-versed
in bog latin or rodents or burlersque
we’ve managed quite well
so please do not dwell
as Deus, things could be worse
Trish said:
Feb 08, 09 at 3:12 pmYes come on anon. Are you man or a mouse?
with a mutilated germ that is spawned from a louse
We will not be struck dumb
Nil desperandum
Alan alda’s folks stayed at my house
Trish said:
Feb 08, 09 at 3:18 pmyeah i am with her you are but a cur
to suggest our verse is absurd
our verse may be wonky
but your name is manque
so judges will not take your word
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 3:20 pmOh sorry that was me, not Trish. Did i explain that she is snowed in and her broadband is down and she’s cold and her hamster died so I am posting notes on her behalf (and taking no liberties).
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 3:37 pmwhat do you mean poor quality
i learned limericks on my dad’s knee
that’s where he was from
and now he’s long gone
So Limerick means much to me
True story: my dad was from Limerick but he never met Alan Alda. Post scriptum Trish and I are moving over to the surrealists.
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 4:19 pmDo they know it’s called stab city
And per se girls there aren’t so pretty?
but you’ll find a burlesque dancer
called molly may prancer
And the rats there are big as a kitty
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 4:23 pmThere once was a punter called Jerry
Who travelled to Limerick by Ferry
A young tyke with a knife
gave him a fright
credidit se necatum iri
Trish said:
Feb 08, 09 at 5:54 pmWhat of Toni the exotic dancer
The Legion of Mary wanted to lance her
They went on a trip
and when drowned on the ship
Exeunt all the rats that enhanced her
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 5:55 pmThat reminds me of Maud the Munificent
To see her was money well spent
But for the love rats
it was just tit for tat
Ergo Maud often earned not a cent
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 5:56 pmYou see Anon, now shall we go on
with our ladies and habits thereon
we have such a store
of pussy galore
Ergo the rats I’m afraid, they are gone
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 08, 09 at 5:56 pmI’m so sorry Dita Von Teese
That I linked your name with sleaze
Now I see your photo,
mirabile dictu
The face of an angel reprieves
Trish said:
Feb 09, 09 at 11:55 amTo the blood place they sent us to worry
and the snow was all of a flurry
Burlesque Billy beside us
had cytamegalovirus
I won’t be back here in a hurry
Trish said:
Feb 09, 09 at 11:56 amBurlesque Billy said he had queued long
The syringes and ointments did pong
Then they called “69″
And he said “Oh that’s fine”
And behind the paper curtain was gone
Anon said:
Feb 09, 09 at 12:02 pmThis has all got out of hand
You and your friend are in for a land
I’ve talked to the judges
who in toto begrudge
that the rules you don not understand
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 12:07 pmI know you’re a woman Anon
for one would never get this from a Mon
If you do not desist
I will have to insist
on a visit from Burlesque Billy and John
Ann said:
Feb 09, 09 at 1:10 pmSome folks just won’t follow the rules,
Indeed, some would say they’re like mules,
They ruin the day,
For the rest of us, hey,
Re vera, they look quite the fools!
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 1:26 pmWhat is this Anon, now we have Ann?
another one I suppose in you gang
if you bloody fools
would just check the rules
re Billy we’ve complied since it began
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 1:32 pmTrish I think that we’re in for a spat
They’re ganging up on us now, that’s a fact
If we had Jann on our side
And Amber Marie, woe betide
Their verse versus ours would detract
Jann said:
Feb 09, 09 at 2:08 pmJann’s with Anon and with Ann,
Some people, in sooth, she would ban,
Some verse that they make,
Is quite hard to take,
And, re vera, should go in the can!
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 2:43 pmOh you treacherous traitor with Ann
You would have my poems put in the can
You spoke of Cancun
In perhaps May or June
And now my verses you ban?
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 2:57 pmWell Trish they just can’t have their own way
I doubt if the judges they’ll sway
It’s not over yet
As the rat said to the vet
Non omnia possumus omnes
Trish said:
Feb 09, 09 at 6:23 pmI really am quite disappointed
I’m back from the hospital, anounted
But accounts of my time
if in crude vulgar rhyme
are distasteful to judges appointed
Trish said:
Feb 09, 09 at 6:24 pmSo off I shall go with my verse
To share with others, not quite so terse
My impertinent folly
which some find quite jolly
Though some find quite clearly perverse
Anon said:
Feb 09, 09 at 6:44 pmThough I do have a certain sympathy
with your various petty vagaries
But this is a competition not a whine
and your verse does not quite rhyme
Latin absent ergo Disce aut Discede
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 6:53 pmNow before you react to this Trish
Deus Meus do not give them their wish
They did not know
Because of the snow
Your finger ended up in a dish
Anon said:
Feb 09, 09 at 7:02 pmLook you girls are trying to hijack
The Limerick posts, that’s a fact
i do not wish to be unkind
but i wouldn’t mind
Re vera Defence the best form of attack
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 7:05 pmThere once was an unnamed performer
who kept spare drawers in a small corner
When you turned on the light
they’d give you a fright
fiat lux nux e-rat
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 7:14 pmLook Anon why don’t you tell us your name
does it bother you, bring you some shame
you want rid of us, you mock our sad verse
Ergo do you seek merely some fame?
anon said:
Feb 09, 09 at 7:16 pmYou are right, it began as a joke
and then it became like some coke
I am sorry I tried,
and was undignified
I was obsessed with winning some votes
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 7:43 pmGeorgina Baillie you will not have missed
Her latin name means “pleasure” or “bliss”.
Voluptua on stage
is now all the rage
Thanks to Brand and Ross being remiss
Trish said:
Feb 09, 09 at 8:12 pmWe exchange our bald thoughts that we get
and they haven’t the best of us yet
Circus animals deserted
And yet we’re still earthed
Nemo dat quod non habet
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 8:24 pmHave you heard of guerrilla burlesque?
They come and they dance on your desk
Or in your rats keller,
They’ll dance with your feller
Re vera you’d want to have zest
trish said:
Feb 09, 09 at 8:39 pmGuerilla burlesque? I’ll be damned
But she would not dance with my man
Though her aura is Ginger
She’s still just a minger
I’ll salute her as oft as I can
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 8:46 pmThey call Delirium tremens “the rats”
Cholita the Latina had that
She drank too much liquor
and got sicker and sicker
So the rats more resembled some cats
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 8:46 pmAnd while she was there in the throes
A mad rat came and nibbled her toes
His behavior was stranger
The doctor came later
And erected the sign “Nil per os”
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 9:09 pmWell Ann, Anon and dear Jann
I think that we’ve shown that we can
de gustibus non
est disputandum
we’ll leave you now to your fun
Anon said:
Feb 09, 09 at 9:14 pmOh do not leave us a Stor
Now that you’re gone we want more and more
We went to the brink
And you made us think
Deus vult, we want limericks galore
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 09, 09 at 9:24 pmTrish, Anon must be one of us
And I say it because it is thus
In gaelic ‘A stor’
Means my love and so much more
It must be an Irish alumnus
Jann said:
Feb 09, 09 at 9:56 pmA mild degree of psychosis,
Brought on by his toxoplasmosis,
Caused the young man to bed,
And, de jure, to wed,
A much older dame with cirrhosis!
Jann said:
Feb 09, 09 at 10:01 pmBy no means as light as a feather,
She slipped and she fell in bad weather,
Deus Meus! That’s bad news!
For it took pins and screws,
To fasten her bones back together.
Jann said:
Feb 09, 09 at 11:14 pmHis problem of mitral stenosis,
Compounded by toxoplasmosis,
That he’d got from his cat,
Which had eaten a rat,
Brought on a cerebral thrombosis.
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 10, 09 at 6:25 amThe burlesque entertainer May Twat
observed one night a sad rat
his toxoplasmosis
had brought on neurosis
He thought it was day, nox erat
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 10, 09 at 6:54 amMy brother has gone on the run
With a burlesque Queen May Fun
My mum who was at him
Spoke these words in Latin
Ad vitam aut culpum
leave said:
Feb 10, 09 at 2:14 pmWertpapieren in der Bilanz
von Raivo Pommer
Ein auch im Zusammenhang mit der Finanzkrise öffentlich vieldiskutierter Posten ist die Bewertung von Wertpapieren in der Bilanz. Sie sind generell zum Zeitwert zu bewerten, wobei diese Vorschrift im Umlaufvermögen strenger ausgelegt wird als im Anlagevermögen. Ergibt sich der Zeitwert nicht quasi automatisch aus dem Börsenkurs zum Abschlussstichtag, so muss ein Zeitwert modellhaft nachgebildet werden. Dabei bedient man sich meist der Ertragswertmethode (discounted cash flow), bei der die Annahmen zu hinterfragen sind. In diese Modelle fließen nämlich Erwartungen ein bezüglich der künftigen Erträge aus den Wertpapieren (Zinszahlungen und Tilgung durch den Schuldner), bezüglich der Zinsentwicklung und bestimmter Risiken. Vor solchen Unwägbarkeiten schützt auch die Umwidmung der Papiere aus dem Handels- in den Anlagebestand nicht wirklich. Hier sind gemäß dem “gemilderten Niederstwertprinzip” allerdings nur noch im Rahmen einer Werthaltigkeitsprüfung bei voraussichtlich dauerhafter Wertminderung Abschreibungen nötig. Aber auch hier ist zu hinterfragen, wann ein Unternehmen warum davon ausgeht, dass die von ihm gehaltenen Wertpapiere dauerhaft Wert verloren haben oder eben nicht. Weniger Beachtung als auf der Aktivseite finden die Wertpapiere auf der Passivseite der Bilanz, wo in Bankbilanzen verbriefte Verbindlichkeiten als Gegenposition zu den entsprechenden Wertpapieren der Aktivseite der Käufer stehen. Wenn deren Börsenkurs sinkt, dann nimmt ihr Wert ebenfalls ab, allerdings im Gegensatz zu den Papieren auf der Aktivseite wirkt sich hier eine Wertminderung positiv aus. Hier könnte sich jemand also reicher rechnen, als er ist. Es ist daher allgemein begrüßt worden, dass die Deutsche Bank hier konservativ verfahren ist und nicht versucht hat, ihren Jahresverlust zu schönen.
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 10, 09 at 3:38 pmLeave ich verstehe zie nicht
aber das ist kein limerick
und wo is den chirurgin
oder die burleske virgin
Deus vult ein bisschen lateinisch
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 10, 09 at 3:43 pmPoor Trish nearly died of the cold
no broadband, dead rat, more untold
she booked into a hotel
Deus meus life is swell
She’ll be here any minute, I’m told
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 4:33 pmTo her beau she thought she would propose,
Two 29 is the date that she chose,
In her small town in Texas,
She yelled, “Annus bisextus,”
‘Twas a cell that she got: not a rose.
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 4:53 pmThe burlesque performer, Moon Líly,
Who’d left both her husbands in Philly,
Had a son she called Willy,
Then a daughter named Milly,
Ad idem, she’s with her hill bílly.
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 5:12 pmThe songs of burlesque star Moon Líly,
Re vera, were really quite silly,
The reason was history,
And to some ’twas a mystery,
But her fans all loved “Hey dilly dilly”!
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 5:22 pmThe burlesque performer Moon Líly,
Then had twins she named Jilly and Gilly,
She could dance up a storm,
She was way past the norm,
Ad alta! She’s so rich that it’s silly.
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 5:59 pmThe burlesque performer Moon Líly,
Along with her handsome hill bílly,
Had now their own show,
They could both dance, you know,
And, ab hinc, they had added a filly.
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 6:06 pmThe mare was the hit of the show,
Oh yes, ’twas a horse, that is so,
Though some thought it silly,
A filly dressed frilly,
Ad astra! That’s where they would go.
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 7:00 pmOh Anon, now just where are you, honey,
Please come out, for the day is quite sunny,
My dearest Anon,
I say, “Aw come on,”
Re vera, your stuff is so funny!
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 8:27 pmThe rat had Yersinia pestis,
That’s plague. Too bad nobody guessed it,
They thought that his asthma,
Was from Toxoplasma,
Now dead! The whole town and one guest is.
Jann said:
Feb 10, 09 at 8:50 pmAnon, I just think you’re so funny!
Come out, and I’ll give you some money,
Just maybe a penny,
That’s more than not any,
Ad rem. All our lives should be sunny.
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 1:53 amWe heard Mark Deutsch play the bazantar,
We know now to rhyme it with lantern,
That’s without the “n”,
Now let’s try this again,
O merda! We’ll rhyme it with panther!
Trish said:
Feb 11, 09 at 7:28 amAnn is Jann, Jann is Ann, not man
There’s only one girl in her gang
So perhaps we’ll be missed
By the rats we’ve not kissed
But not by anon, Jann or Ann
Trish said:
Feb 11, 09 at 7:31 amThere once was a man from Mount Lucas
Who had shocking pain from his verucas
Ex parte, his wife
Whipped them off with a knife
Amber Marie would have used her bazoukas
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 11, 09 at 11:23 amJann, i confess that Anon it is I
I sent her in as a spy
I’m glad that she fooled ya
Cos i send her inter alia
to see with whom you would lie
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 2:26 pmI have thought for a time re this game,
The three of you; one and the same,
But it don’t really matter,
It’s just so much chatter,
Re vera, the whole thing’s quite lame.
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 3:01 pmWell, what I still say is “Game on,”
And it’s quite fun to write to Anon,
“I think you’re quite sexy,
“Don’t get apoplexy,
“Or you might not wake up come the dawn.”
Anon said:
Feb 11, 09 at 3:31 pmI’m sorry Jann, I prefer Muireann
Her breasts are firm, she’s quite a woman
You say her verse is quite lame
Oh how could you so defame
Though nox erat, there’s nothing stirrin’
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 3:40 pmAnon, it’s just fun that I poke,
How sad that you don’t get the joke,
I don’t think you’re funny,
Nor sexy, poor Honey,
Ad rem. More a pig in a poke!
Anon said:
Feb 11, 09 at 3:55 pmPoke rhyming with poke, how novel
I think after this you will grovel
Your pig talk is loco
See I’ve seen your photo
Your face darling does rather trouble
Anon said:
Feb 11, 09 at 4:06 pmMy friend Trish said that was quite cruel
you could in fact be a jewel
re vera you’re a stranger
and there is no danger
I’ve seen your photo at school
Anon said:
Feb 11, 09 at 4:09 pmYou’re right, it has got quite tawdry
reminds me of sad burlesque Audrey
She started quite sweet
but fell on her feet
inter alia power swept her away
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 4:11 pmYour insults will do you no good,
It’s you they hurt, and so they should,
For me it’s all fun,
For all and for one,
Ad rem? Go on out to the wood!
Anon said:
Feb 11, 09 at 4:18 pmJann, it’s just fun that I poke,
How sad that you don’t get the joke,
I don’t think you’re funny,
Nor sexy, poor Honey,
Ad rem. More a pig in a poke!
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 4:25 pmAnon, it is true you’re quite boring,
Re vera, I’m quite close to snoring,
You see, I have a name,
You don’t; not the same!!!!
You’d sure not get anyone soaring!
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 4:48 pmAnon, you won’t tell who you are,
Indeed, this has gone way too far,
I’m so sad for you,
I might say boo hoo,
Ad rem. Go get drunk in a bar!
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 11, 09 at 5:55 pmI told you above I invented anon
But now I feel quite put upon
I don’t want to spar
you have gone too far
I’ll be in the woods until you’re gone
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 6:03 pmAnon, you’re untruthful by far,
This “contest” has got quite bizarre,
You’ve stolen my verse,
That’s sure worth a curse,
Aw c’mon now. Admit who you are.
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 11, 09 at 6:10 pmMy name is Muireann, larger than life
A little burlesque, a lousy wife
I’m quick on my feet
Not all that meek
And good friends I tend to keep
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 6:19 pmMuireann, I just don’t give a hoot,
Lousy wife or a good one, to boot,
I just talk to Anon,
Who is pulling a con,
So get out of my way now, toot toot!
Anon said:
Feb 11, 09 at 6:36 pmThere is obviously no talking to you Jann
Over and out
Jann said:
Feb 11, 09 at 6:55 pmNor to you, either, “Anon”
Trish said:
Feb 11, 09 at 7:15 pmSee you anon, Anon
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 11, 09 at 7:46 pmAnd so Anon had finally departed
Trish wondered how it all started
Re her hamster who died
Her friend had just tried
to make proceedings lighthearted
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 12, 09 at 5:55 amIsn’t it funny what Limericks reveal
My mater poo pooed their appeal
She said they were drivel
No more than a scribble
But to me the encounter was real
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 12, 09 at 6:36 amYes I mentioned my mother above
A scholar who does latin love
she queried “culpum”
But it does rhyme with bum
Re Latin she thinks I’m a dud
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 12, 09 at 6:39 amre valentine massacre I’m sorry
Got carried away in the flurry
Trish you’re my best friend
didn’t mean to offend
mea culpa, begob and begorry
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 12, 09 at 9:48 amNow Trish is in bed with the flu
At least broadband is fixed, yahoo
Do floosies get flu/sick?
Burlseque Amber Marie did
But that was more in re the coup
Paul said:
Feb 12, 09 at 4:15 pmKing Tut reclines in lux sit
or so he always thought it
but his queen told him
so royally dim
Means not, “Comfy Chair”. you git.
Crappy rhyme but do i get extra points for working in our Alma Mater’s logo? (Which I still believe must mean “Comfy Chair”)?
Ann said:
Feb 12, 09 at 6:03 pmThe word “king” means the entry is out,
Yes, that’s what the rules are about,
But some do not read them,
Or p’rhaps just don’t heed them,
Ad rem: the instructions they flout!
Ann said:
Feb 12, 09 at 6:42 pmA man who had got Toxoplasma,
Tried to pass as a dancer named Yasma,
He got fake bazooms,
But they popped just like balloons,
And gave off noxious fumes that caused asthma!
Rish said:
Feb 12, 09 at 7:08 pmThe words “fake bazooms” mean you’re out.
Yes that’s what the rules are about.
A prosthetic factor
Ergo my anal retractor
Reckons here too the rules have no clout.
Ann said:
Feb 12, 09 at 7:37 pmThese rules mean not so much to thee,
Some people exceed decency,
People write what they want,
Maybe all should exeunt,
Male fide! That’s indeed what I see.
Ann said:
Feb 12, 09 at 7:48 pmAnn is my name, in the middle,
From the day I was born; it’s no riddle,
But I think there’s no Rish,
Nor even a Trish,
Ad rem? I say fiddle de diddle.
Thomas said:
Feb 12, 09 at 8:11 pmSit vitiorum meorum evacuatio
Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,
Caritatis et patientiae,
Humilitatis et obedientiae,
Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.
Irene said:
Feb 12, 09 at 8:24 pmLet it be for the elimination for my sins,
For the expulsion of desire and lust,
[And] for the increase of charity and patience,
Humility and obedience,
As well as all the virtues.
Ann said:
Feb 12, 09 at 8:39 pmIt’s great that there now are more entrants,
Though some, I have heard, have no pants,
The more people there are,
The more fun by far,
Even though some are given to rants!
Ann said:
Feb 12, 09 at 8:43 pmThe lady could play the bazantar,
While riding her horse at a canter,
The circus she joined,
Though act was purloined,
She could play just as well on a panther!
Rish said:
Feb 12, 09 at 9:51 pmBut Rish, too, is my name in part.
I’ve got pants galore, and a heart.
I do strum on my lute, hey!
And sing “Et tu, Rute”
And I do it all, dressed as a tart.
Jann said:
Feb 12, 09 at 10:17 pmThat’s what Ann just said, uh, ahem,
We’ve got entrants galore, ad idem,
Who cares what their names are,
It’s more what their games are,
Can they write some good limericks, ad rem?
Metamorphosism» Blog Archive » On the Decline of Blogging and the Metamorphosism St. Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest Massacre Last-Minute Rule Change said:
Feb 13, 09 at 1:09 am[...] misunderstanding-based flamewar (in limerick form! yay for metamorphosism flame wars!) in this year’s limerick contest has necessitated a (literally) last-minute rule change. No previous entries will be disqualified, [...]
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:26 pmPoor Muireann is just out of court
she finally went back to work
what’s this - a rule change?
and nasty exchange?
Icelandic? in re I only know Bjork
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:29 pmIceland? is that not the shop?
where everything’s frozen and chopped
me and Cholita latina know our matina
But per Icelandic we are at a loss
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:34 pmRish I think we have been a bit rash
we banged off our poems in a dash
islanska’s the rule
we’ll just have to pool
and get inter alia mish mash
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:38 pmÉg heiti Muireann Ég er frá Ireland
My Mater once dated Doug Garland
But i’m not nitpicking
And i’m certainly not sticking
to limericks that come from Iceland
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:41 pmI’m sorry i had to drop out
But love rat got struck down with gout
It made my poor honey
get tight with his money
and he gave me nil per mouth
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:45 pmi’m sorry i’m off to the Opera
with James and Burlesque Deborah
then they’re coming for dinner
so i can’t be the winner
Good luck trish,ergo i love ya
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:46 pmI’m sad now to go but that’s that
I loved Jann and Ann and our spat
But I’m off to a show
As you already know
Góða nótt or nox erat
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 2:52 pmAh Mig I love when it’s vicious
Nastiness can be quite delicious
pursued by a bear
Exeunt there and there
Gangi þér vel my old Trish us
Jann said:
Feb 13, 09 at 4:10 pmMuireann, our spat’s all in the past,
With me, things like that never last,
My favorite, Moon Líly,
Still loves her hill bílly,
They dance off their pants; what a blast!
Jann said:
Feb 13, 09 at 4:40 pmThe bawdy performer Moon Líly,
Has a husband, six kids, and a filly,
Has bazookas galore,
Still looks twenty-four,
And owns ten shows ‘tween here and Philly.
Trish said:
Feb 13, 09 at 5:09 pm“Já”, Jon Zealondo said, in his thong.
We’ve all learned how to love and get on.
“Bottoms Up” said Sean Mac Bride
“In vino veritas reside.”
In this world we all can belong.
Trish said:
Feb 13, 09 at 5:19 pmFor I’m just an old hippy ‘tis true
Though our values we all may think true
Fair play to the voice
That will fight and rejoice
To wit Muireann, Jann, Ann, Trish and You!
Jann said:
Feb 13, 09 at 5:34 pmML’s husbands in Philly she’d shed,
And her handsome hill bílly had wed,
Of course this came after,
Six kids and much laughter,
“All’s well that ends well,” she said.
Jann said:
Feb 13, 09 at 5:48 pmI like everyone ev’n Anon,
We’ve had some good fun so come on,
Let’s all go out dancing,
I’ll do the financing,
Tomorrow we’ll see what we’ve won!
Ian said:
Feb 13, 09 at 5:58 pmThere once was a man from Nantucket
Who played Burlesque tunes on paper, comb and bucket,
In a Desmond Tutu
Kicked his heels, said “woo-hoo”
Bless! A bene placito instructed
Tony said:
Feb 13, 09 at 6:04 pmMánudagur, we’ll have no more rhyme
And how will we have a good time
A menso et thoro
Shall we all be tomorrow
In voco alternis, sublime
Trish said:
Feb 13, 09 at 6:48 pmMig asked Rod Hull Emu to hide
For in matters of Pax Mig did pride
Á gráum hærum gloggt var kenndur
With his bloggings most tender
But he was Emu O’ Houdini. Woe betide!
Thomas said:
Feb 13, 09 at 8:33 pmMy philisophy is an eclectic hodge-Podge
Posterior Analytics will please but thee Rodge
Einn miða til the Chipper takk fyrir
I may be Raptus regaliter
But a medieval diet is bland stodge
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 8:46 pmI’m back, yes I’m back Aquinas
Ah who are you but bit of an ass
Mahatma you are not
Nox erat Góða nótt
Go back to the back of the class
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 8:47 pmOh Lord, at the Opera I was so bored
Escape? Houdini? I do what i am told
Of redeption (sic)
Does he think we’re thick?
Henry Kissinger would be prompted to scold
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 8:47 pmThe opera came to our hood
It wasn’t bad it was good
It was on in Belvedere
Which you know is very near
And it wasn’t bawdy or lewd
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 8:54 pmAh Trish you kept it going thanks a lot
And in the end we do care a jot
you brought in our friends
to win at the end
Valentine’s Day Hafðu það gott
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 8:58 pmI suppose I could remember jack the ripper
oh sorry was he not a stripper?
Kissinger kissogram,
Aquinas’ your latin man
Ah Skál! I’m off to the chipper
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:13 pmMy valentine Tony’s quite bawdy
And that thing with Podge was quite tawdry
reconciliation deception
and then a reception
Who’d blame him, his wife is quite gaudy
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:15 pmI’m sorry i was mean re your wife
These new rules have given me fright
I never met Emu
I should bid you adieu
But Halló i’m on a bit of a skite
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:17 pmAh Trish come on I can’t last
my alter ego is taking a blast
Go fix your iphone
Don’t leave me alone
Nox erat i’m not made of glass
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:21 pmok now line up Tony and Ian
and indicate just what you mean
your verse is perverse
but we’re over the worst
In Iceland the EMU’s a deal
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:26 pmTony wants to mention West Brom
they failed to sign Gudjonsson
The Player’s a joke
Like his country, he’s broke
And as Jann says re Vera “Game on”
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:27 pmof course he could type it himself
but as you guessed he is washing the delph
his wife is so lazy
and her thinking is hazy
she thinks the delph washes itself
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:30 pmIt is now 9.27 pm
but where? in Dublin or Wien?
Ah Mig end it now
or Burlesque jungfrau
will ne’r be a virgin again
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:34 pmSo what will we all do tommorrow
I’m stuck in this rhyme line begorrah
I’m sick of the rules though
it was better a while ago
when latin and fluzies were borrowed
Muireann Noonan said:
Feb 13, 09 at 9:37 pmSo goodnight and goodbye my new friends
I’m now making latin a trend
I’ve bonded with Mater
I will call her later
We’ll laugh at the rhymes that i sent
x
Lisa D said:
Feb 13, 09 at 10:35 pmNot my best work this year, but here goes
As Wayland and Madame go crazy,
Your intellect might just get lazy
The puppet is thinner
When his hand’s not in her,
A man plays the dirty old lady!
I had to take redemption and reconcilation literally!
I redeem lots of coupons and rebates,
Reconciling my checkbook on pay dates.
It would take a Houdini
To eat beans and weenies
And save enough for future loan rates.
Lisa D said:
Feb 13, 09 at 10:36 pm(That was two seperate limericks with comments in between)
Lisa D said:
Feb 13, 09 at 11:07 pmAs Wayland and Madame go crazy
Your intellect might just get lazy
The puppet is thinner
When his hand’s not in her,
A man plays the dirty old lady!
Lisa D said:
Feb 13, 09 at 11:07 pmI redeem lots of coupons and rebates
Reconciling my checkbook on pay dates
It would take a Houdini
To eat beans and weenies
And save enough for future loan rates
Lisa D said:
Feb 13, 09 at 11:08 pmSorry for the mess–I figure Mig can delete my earlier, combined ones
Mark S said:
Feb 14, 09 at 2:45 am(Hooray for general bawdiness!)
A blonde with an marvelous body
At college was nothing but naughty
But since each instructor
Is known to have f*cked her
She finished up summa cum laude
k. said:
Feb 14, 09 at 9:58 amwow.
this is insane, and i’ve quite enjoyed it.
Metamorphosism» Blog Archive » Winners of the 2009 Metamorphosism St. Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest said:
Feb 14, 09 at 5:01 pm[...] First of all, wow. And my sincere thanks to all entrants. The entries to the 2009 contest can be found here. [...]
Kate said:
Feb 25, 09 at 9:01 amAww, I’m disqualified for tardiness, but can I submit one anyway and look forward to next year?
Here it is:
There once was a man from Belfiore
Who, drunk, made his wife cry Orrore!
She found him one day,
reading Gandhi, they say,
Then he sobered, ab imo pectore.
Miss Noonan said:
Feb 25, 09 at 10:24 pmTrish told me you sent in an entry
and you sounded like one of the gentry
instead of val’s day
you chose Ash Wednesday
to exchange with us your pleasantries
Miss Noonan said:
Feb 25, 09 at 10:27 pmWell ashes to dust at Lent
On candles my money i spent
I met Duncan and John
But I’m still carrying on
I’m afraid that I didn’t repent