PLEASE NOTE NEW, EMERGENCY, (literally) LAST-DAY RULE CHANGES BELOW!!!11!!!!
Time for the 8th (I think) annual Metamorphosism International Valentine’s Day Limerick Contest.
Enter in the comments to this post.
Winners will be announced on 14 February, 2009.
ENTER AS OFTEN AS YOU LIKE!!! But read the rules before entering! Or else!
IMPORTANT NOTICE: THERE HAS BEEN A SMALL CHANGE IN THE RULES FOR THIS YEAR’S CONTEST!!
SECOND IMPORTANT NOTICE! THERE HAS BEEN ANOTHER RULE CHANGE!
- Poems entered must be an actual limerick. We are strict about this.
- Entries must contain a Latin word or phrase.
- Extra points awarded for working in one of the following: a king, a burlesque performer, an extinct or rare musical instrument, a prosthesis, NEW: an obsolete, extinct or rare musical instrument. NEW RULE CHANGE HERE: No kings, prostheses or obsolete musical instruments after all. All entries with kings, prostheses or obsolete musical instruments will be disqualified. Unusual or innovative musical instruments will still be allowed. Instead of kings, extra points will be awarded for parasitic diseases affecting the behavior of rats. Prostheses and prosthetic devices shall be replaced by surgical equipment.
- NEW RULES (made necessary by the unfortunate flame war in the entries): entries are to include themes of general bawdiness, redeption and reconciliation. Bonus characters: famous peace activists, famous ventriloquists, escape artists. Bonus languages: Latin, Icelandic.
- Rules subject to change without warning (changes will be posted here or in a subsequent post)
(Note: Over the years, a number of rude etc expressions have been added to the comment blacklist so if the comments refuse your entry that might be the reason. In that case, mail it to me at metamorphosist (at) gmail dot c0m and I’ll set you up.)
Feel free to search this site for past winners. Good luck.
“Já”, Jon Zealondo said, in his thong.
We’ve all learned how to love and get on.
“Bottoms Up” said Sean Mac Bride
“In vino veritas reside.”
In this world we all can belong.
For I’m just an old hippy ‘tis true
Though our values we all may think true
Fair play to the voice
That will fight and rejoice
To wit Muireann, Jann, Ann, Trish and You!
ML’s husbands in Philly she’d shed,
And her handsome hill bílly had wed,
Of course this came after,
Six kids and much laughter,
“All’s well that ends well,” she said.
I like everyone ev’n Anon,
We’ve had some good fun so come on,
Let’s all go out dancing,
I’ll do the financing,
Tomorrow we’ll see what we’ve won!
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who played Burlesque tunes on paper, comb and bucket,
In a Desmond Tutu
Kicked his heels, said “woo-hoo”
Bless! A bene placito instructed
Mánudagur, we’ll have no more rhyme
And how will we have a good time
A menso et thoro
Shall we all be tomorrow
In voco alternis, sublime
Mig asked Rod Hull Emu to hide
For in matters of Pax Mig did pride
Á gráum hærum gloggt var kenndur
With his bloggings most tender
But he was Emu O’ Houdini. Woe betide!
My philisophy is an eclectic hodge-Podge
Posterior Analytics will please but thee Rodge
Einn miða til the Chipper takk fyrir
I may be Raptus regaliter
But a medieval diet is bland stodge
I’m back, yes I’m back Aquinas
Ah who are you but bit of an ass
Mahatma you are not
Nox erat Góða nótt
Go back to the back of the class
Oh Lord, at the Opera I was so bored
Escape? Houdini? I do what i am told
Of redeption (sic)
Does he think we’re thick?
Henry Kissinger would be prompted to scold
The opera came to our hood
It wasn’t bad it was good
It was on in Belvedere
Which you know is very near
And it wasn’t bawdy or lewd
Ah Trish you kept it going thanks a lot
And in the end we do care a jot
you brought in our friends
to win at the end
Valentine’s Day Hafðu það gott
I suppose I could remember jack the ripper
oh sorry was he not a stripper?
Kissinger kissogram,
Aquinas’ your latin man
Ah Skál! I’m off to the chipper
My valentine Tony’s quite bawdy
And that thing with Podge was quite tawdry
reconciliation deception
and then a reception
Who’d blame him, his wife is quite gaudy
I’m sorry i was mean re your wife
These new rules have given me fright
I never met Emu
I should bid you adieu
But Halló i’m on a bit of a skite
Ah Trish come on I can’t last
my alter ego is taking a blast
Go fix your iphone
Don’t leave me alone
Nox erat i’m not made of glass
ok now line up Tony and Ian
and indicate just what you mean
your verse is perverse
but we’re over the worst
In Iceland the EMU’s a deal
Tony wants to mention West Brom
they failed to sign Gudjonsson
The Player’s a joke
Like his country, he’s broke
And as Jann says re Vera “Game on”
of course he could type it himself
but as you guessed he is washing the delph
his wife is so lazy
and her thinking is hazy
she thinks the delph washes itself
It is now 9.27 pm
but where? in Dublin or Wien?
Ah Mig end it now
or Burlesque jungfrau
will ne’r be a virgin again
So what will we all do tommorrow
I’m stuck in this rhyme line begorrah
I’m sick of the rules though
it was better a while ago
when latin and fluzies were borrowed
So goodnight and goodbye my new friends
I’m now making latin a trend
I’ve bonded with Mater
I will call her later
We’ll laugh at the rhymes that i sent
x
Not my best work this year, but here goes
As Wayland and Madame go crazy,
Your intellect might just get lazy
The puppet is thinner
When his hand’s not in her,
A man plays the dirty old lady!
I had to take redemption and reconcilation literally!
I redeem lots of coupons and rebates,
Reconciling my checkbook on pay dates.
It would take a Houdini
To eat beans and weenies
And save enough for future loan rates.
(That was two seperate limericks with comments in between)
As Wayland and Madame go crazy
Your intellect might just get lazy
The puppet is thinner
When his hand’s not in her,
A man plays the dirty old lady!
I redeem lots of coupons and rebates
Reconciling my checkbook on pay dates
It would take a Houdini
To eat beans and weenies
And save enough for future loan rates
Sorry for the mess–I figure Mig can delete my earlier, combined ones
(Hooray for general bawdiness!)
A blonde with an marvelous body
At college was nothing but naughty
But since each instructor
Is known to have f*cked her
She finished up summa cum laude
wow.
this is insane, and i’ve quite enjoyed it.
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Aww, I’m disqualified for tardiness, but can I submit one anyway and look forward to next year?
Here it is:
There once was a man from Belfiore
Who, drunk, made his wife cry Orrore!
She found him one day,
reading Gandhi, they say,
Then he sobered, ab imo pectore.
Trish told me you sent in an entry
and you sounded like one of the gentry
instead of val’s day
you chose Ash Wednesday
to exchange with us your pleasantries
Well ashes to dust at Lent
On candles my money i spent
I met Duncan and John
But I’m still carrying on
I’m afraid that I didn’t repent
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