Careers in Science: Zymurgy

The zymurgist is so over finding it cool being the last scientist in the dictionary he’s even over being irritated at others finding it cool. Getting into the shower in the morning, he tries to take an objective view of his physique, and then abandons that pursuit as too painful. Putting on his underwear, the elastic twangs like… he spends the rest of the day searching for the perfect simile. Like a piano wire across a stool pigeon’s larynx. Like a guy-wire on a radio tower in a windstorm. He should do something about it. One of these days. Very soon.

7 responses to “Careers in Science: Zymurgy

  1. Jann

    Does he try to take “an objective view of his physique” every day, like the woman, who having received a bad haircut walks around her house looking in every mirror over and over, hoping that her hair will somehow look different, or does he do this only once a month or so?

  2. sue

    Perhaps he should relax with a cold beer.

  3. sue

    (I keep a dictionary next to my computer.)

  4. Jann

    (I just type the word, a comma, then “definition” into Google).

  5. anne

    Like a piano wire across a stool pigeon’s larynx.
    You have a delicious mean streak.

  6. mig

    @jann: every time he takes a shower, so yeah, about once a month.
    (i just type the word into google, leave a space, and type definition and hit enter)

  7. mig

    if i don’t know the word already, but i almost always do.