- Most important fact: the sheepshead porgy belongs to the Sparidae family, so don’t fucking fuck with it.
- According to Wikipedia, the sheepshead porgy is the most celebrated sea bream, culinarily. Hence the picture here, geddit?
- Also according to Wikipedia, the sheepshead porgy is found only in the Atlantic, and “its teeth are of like a sheep’s.”
- That’s all.
- But according to the Internet, the sheepshead porgy, or Calamus penna, is also sometimes called a mutton snapper, making it one of few marine creatures with multiple cool names.
- Seriously. “Hey, you little mutton snappers, get off my lawn!”
- The sheepshead porgy likes it warm, so we’re talking Gulf, Caribbean, South America, stuff like that.
- Max. length = 46 cm, max. published weight 1 kg.
- Driving to work this morning, the sheepshead porgy saw a billboard advertising a newspaper, reading, in large letters, “Mehr Trends, mehr Lifestyle, mehr TV”, and wondered if that was likely in the current day and age. More trends? The sheepshead porgy imagined a trend to fewer trends and less lifestyle, and more authenticity. The sheepshead porgy imagined people getting sick of TV, and the Internet, and other entertainment, and taking things into their own hands. The sheepshead porgy became giddy, and just missed a streetcar.
- The sheepshead porgy also imagined a trend toward finally taxing, significantly, dumbfucks with so much money they have nothing better to do with it than speculate with it on Wall St. The sheepshead porgy differentiates between investors, who invest in companies, which is a useful activity, and jackasses who are just speculating in order to get rich. If they have nothing better to do with their money than that, they should be relieved of it by society, which does have something better to do with it, namely build an infrastructure, feed the starving, educate the seething masses, shorten the work week, build grocery rockets, good stuff like that.
- Juveniles often found in sea grass. Juvenile delinquents often found loitering in convenience store parking lots.
- It is silvery, and marketed fresh and frozen.
Little-known facts about the Sheepshead porgy
Posted in Metamorphosism
Tags: bream, calamus penna, fish, little-known facts, marine creatures, sheepshead porgy
Most important fact: the sheepshead porgy belongs to the Sparidae family, so don’t fucking fuck with it.
I don’t even mess with them dudes.
This is “shear” lunacy!