Feral Living would like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to those unsung, hardworking heros, cheesy entertainers. Night after night, they tickle the ivories on their fancy little keyboard/synthesizers, crooning popular tunes as we sit at our wedding receptions and other gatherings, talking among ourselves, completely ignoring their efforts, their hard work, their pain, their sequins.

Hats off to you, I say. Hats off to you!

Hats off to X and Y, the two entertainers at the reception we attended last night, him in a little monkey vest, snazzy haircut and head mounted mic and keyboard, her with a sequin vest with lots of cleavage and a Julia Roberts sort of thing going, except she was like Julia Roberts pressed down to about 5′ 7″, with all the extra mass going into her caboose. They were there on the stage, crooning well-known tunes with smallish voices, he’d play sax solos and guitar solos on his keyboard. Once they took a break to announce that they were available for birthdays, weddings, and other gatherings.

Simultaneously, all over the world, in every country including North Korea and Iraq, similar entertainers were doing exactly the same thing. Entertainers genetically locked out of fame and fortune, or because of destiny and kismet, too short or too fat or too poorly connected were singing their little hearts out in their sequins and tails, dancing around and strumming their instruments, announcing during the course of the evening that they are available for birthdays and weddings.

Then packing up and going home.

Applause.