Mom called the other day to check whether her Christmas package had arrived yet. I told her it hadn’t, we talked about various other family things, the state of health of elderly relatives and so on, and eventually ended up discussing the best way to deliver biological agents, from the terrorist’s point of view. We agreed that although the antrax in the post thing was extremely well-done, spreading anthrax, botulism or something else would probably work even better through the food industry. She was thinking about sprinkling it on the produce at a supermarket, while I, on the other hand, remembered a summer job at a cannery and figured a person inside a processing plant of some sort could, were he at the right point in the process, contaminate a lot of packages.
you & your mom have some creepy conversations. my conversations with my mom usually go like this: hi mom. what? HI MOM. oh… hi…
anyway, your comments box no longer shifts the page behind it. :)
Thanks a lot, kd. But now there’s a new problem instead – everytime someone leaves a comment, it sets off the “vibrate” function of my cell phone and makes me do a little dance. Can you fix that if it’s no too much trouble? When you have time, I mean?
are you my brother, mig? because your mom sounds like my mom.
two words:
SPAM.
ish’t spam already a biohazard all by itself?
i thought you’d be “tickled” by the new comment vibrating function. *sigh* ok, i’ll turn it off.
1. Thank god someone is considering our anthrax spreading alternatives.
2. If you get visited by the FBI/CIA or anyone else claiming to represent the American government as a result of this posting–remember, you can call 1-800-DisbarredLawyers and get immediate assistance.
The salad bar thing is so old school it’s new… I’m pretty sure the first-ever bioterror attack was salmonella via salad bar, inflicted by some bizarre Christian group up in Washington State or Oregon…
Members of the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh “cult” tried, with partial success I think, to spread salmonella in a town near their headquarters, in Oregon, sometime in the early 1980s, I believe. Let’s see what google says… okay, 1984. See here. It was in the Dalles, Oregon in 1984. The Bhagwan was a flaky, charismatic guru type with a Rolls Royce collection; they were not Christians, etc.
Thanks – my mistake!