The winners of this year’s St. Valentine’s Day limerick contest will be announced by the judges themselves, a plague of jellyfish.
Hi. We just flew in from the ocean someplace, and boy are our arms tired.
Thank you, we’ll be here until Thursday. Don’t forget to tip the bartender.
We would have announced the winners on time, but we were busy stinging some wind surfers.
[rimshot]
Also it took us forever to agree because there were so many brilliant entries, multiplied by there being millions of us. Did you know that when one of us is attacked, it somehow signals the rest of us, maybe some hormone or something is secreted, what do we know, that sends the rest of us into a sexual frenzy, resulting in millions of new jellyfish?
Can you imagine if you could put some of that into aftershave? You’d be a millionaire. Unless it stung like jellyfish venom. We’re not chemists, what do we know?
Here’s a picture of mig’s website traffic graph this month: .
So if you’re afraid no one sees the literature you are producing here, you can relax.
[Sound of a jellyfish drying up]
Would you mind turning down those spotlights a little? Thanks.
Without further ado, the winners!
Third place goes to lisad. We liked watching Badma Khanda fry taters.
Second place goes to d because there’s nothing a jellyfish plague likes better than Nigella Lawson.
First place goes to 1904 because if there’s anything a jellyfish plague likes better than Nigella, it’s coprophagy, cannibalism, original sin and Otgonbayar.

Extra-über-first place honors go to Jann, for whom we had to create something even better than coming in first this year because she not only wrote a ton of limericks, all of which are perfect, meter-wise or whatever you call that (what do we know, we’re jellyfish) she also worked in love, and everything else (well, not everything, 1904 did that).
Best limerick making fun of the limerick contest goes to Mark. S., who missed the deadline but it was Mig’s own fault for not closing comments on the post.

All of the winners deserve not only a big round of applause, but also a prize, which this year will be a discount on Horst’s book, which Mig helped write. Mail Mig at his gmail account (metamorphosist) to negotiate the level of discount, if you don’t already have a copy of the book. If you don’t want the book, Mig will buy you a beer next time you come to Vienna.

to everyone who entered!