On the Suburban Path to Enlightenment, when you meet Buddha in the road, you don’t stop, you don’t even slow down. Either he jumps out of the way or he is history.

There are many ways. You can study texts or meditate on koans. I find driving and simultaneously holding a conversation on cellphone to be a good way to achieve beginner’s mind, which is something I try for as I am following the Way of the Fool.

It is a way that stresses openness and spontaneity – something particularly difficult for me to achieve – and has the added bonus of getting you off the hook if you don’t really know anything about Buddhism. Someone calls you on a point of procedure or something, you get all beginner’s mind on them.

One thing I have realized on this path is that we do not change. Womb to grave, we are who we are. We just are. You are, you know? You know what I mean? We are constantly changing, our cells reproducing and dying, but in the midst of all this change and chaos, we are who we are. We simply are.

You cannot ask someone else to change for you. And you cannot change yourself. You are a holographic section of the world, the entire world is in you and vice versa and all you can do is accept the world as it is. All you can do is accept others, accept yourself. Look. You just are. You cannot change yourself.

But you can change what you do. You can change your practices.

Kafka said, and I paraphrase another paraphrase of a translation, You don’t have to go outside in search of life, you don’t even have to leave your room. You can just sit quietly and it will come to you and roll at your feet.

There is acceptance and freedom and decisions and you are entirely in control every second of every day even if it doesn’t seem like that when you sit down to pay the bills.

The Way of the Fool is a way without fear. This is another paradoxical bit for me, being built on a foundation of fear as I am.

I was at a school function last night and afterwards was talking to a teacher. I told her a story. I had been asked to make a speech at a concert but had begged off, saying I had no time. Then it so happened that someone caught me in the vicinity at the time of the concert, which was slightly embarassing. I decided – even before being caught – that there had been no need for me to make an excuse. I simply don’t do public speaking. I don’t have to change myself. That is simply a fact about me. I don’t do it. You want me to make a speech, sorry.

Even on a path to enlightenment, we don’t have to evolve to fit someone’s idea of the ideal person.

And she said, You know, you’re right, you don’t talk, do you? In fact, I’ve never heard you speak before this.

And I stood there and talked to her for a while. We talked about Gamma and her personality. I talked of Gamma’s social skills, and how from day one she got all the attention she needed. Her method was to enter a situation, observe shyly for a few minutes, then, having figured out what the situation demanded, take control.

And I went on to tell her the story, for example, of Alpha’s 40th birthday party, when Gamma was almost 3. “Garden party in the back yard. All attention was directed towards the guest of honor of course, until Gamma stripped naked and took a shit in the grass.” I mimed picking up a huge, firm turd with my bare hands and carrying it over to the compost heap.

The teacher nodded. We stood there for a couple seconds, then I sort of wandered over to the buffet and she went and talked to someone else.

It’s okay, I thought, it’s the Way of the Fool.