I thought it was the cat knocking on the door but when I checked it was a fucking L3prech4un trying to steal my hubcaps and I grabbed him before he could run away although he twisted and turned mightily and squabbled and tried to distract my attention, draw it away but I maintained eye contact and assured him that I would be insisting on my wish, that he grant my wish and that my first wish would be for an endless number of wishes so he couldn’t fuck me up by some hair-splitting L1ttle P30ple trick like, you know, you wish for a nice Yakima apple with organic peanut butter and you get it, but you didn’t say you wanted it without f3cal matter mixed in, you know?

I’m savvy to that.

“The fecking Dobl