• When driving my subconscious in the rain, the thing connecting the driver’s-side wiper to the wiper motor that makes it go back and forth doesn’t break off.

• When I drop my subconscious in a roasting pan full of hot, greasy turkey drippings, the asterisk key doesn’t break making it impossible for me to unlock it to call my wife and tell her to buy 75-watt lightbulbs instead of only 60 watt lightbulbs after all.
• If I get stuck on a character, all I have to do is wait and a brilliant solution comes to me, and it doesn’t come to me from the Fiat or the Nokia.

On the minus side, the diplomats persecuting me in my sleep and the drowning and the other nightmares lately probably don’t come from the Fiat or the Nokia either.