Good cop: [Looks up from notes spread across spartan table, switches on bright light] “Take a load off, Mig.”

Miguel: [Flops heavily into ergonomically-incorrect fiberglass chair] “Gee, thanks. So what can I do for you guys?”

Good cop: “We’d like to know where you were on the night of March sixth.”

Miguel: “That’s easy. I went home after work.”

Bad cop: [Straightens up from leaning on the wall, in a threatening manner] “You a smart guy? You one ‘a these smart guys?”

Good cop: “Take it easy. Mig’s cooperative, ain’t ya, Mig? Would you care to elucidate on that?”

Miguel: “Elucidate on? You mean expound on, don’t you? Or just elucidate without the on…”

Bad cop: [Cracks knuckles, loudly]

Miguel: “Yeah, okay, okay. I got home about six. Gamma was already asleep, sleeping there on the kitchen bench, her mom Alpha had taken her out for a little fresh air since she was looking healthier, and she just crashed afterwards. The rest of us had curry chicken and rice for dinner. Then we put Gamma to bed, Beta disappeared into her room to do homework or something, as 12 year-old girls are wont to do, and I went into the office to finish some design work I promised to do for someone for free.”

Bad cop: “Heh. What’s that sucking sound I here…”

Miguel: “Here?, but, yeah. So I’m a sucker. Anyway, before I could even turn on the PC, I had to replace the lightbulb that had burned out the day before.”

121 fans: “Oh, Mig, we replace a lightbulb once, too! Aww!”

Good cop: [aside to bad cop] “Chase those morons back to Wil Wheaton, will ya?”

Miguel: “And then, after the light was working again, I noticed the first tortoise turd of spring there on the floor, so I cleaned that up. I told myself at the time that it was maybe a good omen.”

Good cop: “And that was at what time?”

Miguel: [pauses a minute to think] “About seven, I reckon. I turned on the PC, checked my stats and noticed a bunch of new referrers, visited the sites and saw that all the sites were identical – apparently there’s some new blog template circulating in blog-land with links already installed, including one to Feral Living. Just for laughs later on, I re-visited one of the sites, and noticed they had already taken down their link to FL, heh.”

Good cop: [glances at wristwatch] “Anyway…”

Miguel: “Anyway, I opened up Photoshop and the files I was working on, which went slowly because I was working on a large poster, and the file was over 100 MB in size. Every time I changed anything, added text or changed a font or moved something or pasted in a new image, it took about ten or fifteen minutes to finish wheezing and whirring. And saving the damn thing, that took about 20 minutes each time too. So I was forced to consider after each change, should I save this and lose another 20 minutes, or forge onward and risk losing the work if the PC crashes. Oddly, the PC didn’t crash a single time last night.

At about 7.01 PM, Gamma vomited. She had been sleeping in her bed, and started yelling, and we went in and saw the mess. She felt terrible because she hadn’t even made it out of bed. We comforted her, cleaned her up, changed her clothes, put new covers on the bed, and then she vomited again. We comforted her again, cleaned her up, changed her clothes, put new covers on the bed, and then she vomited yet again. This time, however, we%