Today, or yesterday (I am vacationing so my grip on time is more tenuous than usual) I was served a memory from a year ago, a picture of me with a butterfly tickling my nostril at the fish restaurant at Toplitzsee, where we go every year, or have gone each of the past five years, as we have fallen in love with the lake one lake over, Grundlsee, and the surrounding mountains, and other features of the landscape etc in the vicinity; however when we hiked to Toplitzsee for more fish this year the restaurant was closed since we made the mistake of going on a Tuesday and it’s closed Tuesdays, and the second time we went it was open and the fish was good but no butterflies, only mosquitos; likewise when we (in this case my daughter Beta and myself, my wife Alpha having returned home on Thursday to take care of the cats while Beta returned here (she had gone to our house a few days prior to replace her sister Gamma as catsitter because Gamma – who had been with me at Grundlsee at the beginning – was going to Innsbruck to give a presentation at a conference, and to climb in the climbing gym there, which is said to be the best in the world) went to Altausseer See in Altaussee, near Bad Aussee, which is one town over from Grundlsee, for a hike and lunch. While walking around the lake, which is pretty and amidst pretty landscapey views, we were a bit worried whether we would get a table at the place, a rustic restaurant on the bank of the lake, it being tourist season and Friday and noon, but we needn’t have worried because the place was about a third full, if that, when we arrived and we took an empty table and that is when the fun started (the hike had been fun too, except for one stretch with a lot of biting flies) because it seemed to be… New Waitstaff Day? or something? Like first I ordered a “Loser Bier” which is a brand of beer named after a nearby mountain, it comes in a bottle which is good for taking “funny” selfies, which I have been known to do; however, and maybe fortunately, the waitress (a different one from the one who had taken my order) brought a large glass of beer (ein großes Bier) and I was like, internally, all Who is hard of hearing here, you or me? but said nothing because I figured, more beer for the same price and probably the Loser beer selfies are getting old. Then, having studied the menu I asked her what a particular burger, named after the restaurant, was, i.e. was it just a regular burger or what? and she said Yes it was a regular burger. But when my food came it was a fish burger, which I discovered later, after she had gone yet I did not mention it to anyone because 1. fish burger was tasty 2. i figured maybe the burger I ordered, named after the restaurant, was indeed a fish burger not a regular burger and the new waitress who had gotten my beer order wrong had simply not known better. Later, after Gamma and I had eaten a waiter arrived with a regular burger and said, you were served a fish burger right? And I said Right and he said, But you didn’t say anything when it was served? And I said, no problem, just give me the regular burger too and he did and I didn’t know what the fuck was going on but it turned out I had to pay for both burgers apparently because I had failed to point out their incompetence to them immediately, which had not been possible for me because as I mentioned I had not been sure the fish burger was a mistake but I didn’t want to argue and paid; if I had started complaining to the guy I would still be there complaining, wrong beer, wrong burger, right burger not very good (too much filler in the patty), unfriendly blame-shifting waiter. So we paid and left. The waitress who took my money (the 4th waitstaff member to grace our table) had not been involved in any of the mistakes so I still tipped her, a decent tip by Austrian standards but a little paltry by American standards, sort of hit the sweet spot with the percentage, small enough so that it seemed on my end that I was penalizing them for their misdeeds, while large enough that they would not notice anything. Then we walked to our car and got there just as the first raindrops fell and by the time we got home thunder and lightning and lots of rain, it was great.
Category Archives: Das Gehirn
Posted in Das Gehirn, Familie, Feral Living, ferner liefen
Tags: altaussee, altausseer see, bad aussee, grundlsee, holidays, restaurants, tipping, vacation
Ba Babam bib nobocam, a play in 1 act
At the electronic goods megamart after getting a filling at the dentist:
Man: (looking in vain for iPhone charger for wife)
Salesman: (hiding from customers between coffee machine aisle and room ventilator aisle because it is about 2 minutes before quittin time)
Man: (spots salesman)
Man: (all dialogue translated from German to English) BEA AH ZA CHACHAKABA HOA IHONE?
Salesman: Ehm…
Man: (with great effort) CHACHA. KABA. HOA. IHONE.
Salesman: Do you know which model? Is it a new model or an older one?
Man: EGUGA I HINK HMMM NOT SO NUU EBI OAD ON? OAD USB?
Salesman: Actually may I recommend the standard Apple brand product in that case? Same price as the knockoffs.
Man: (Takes recommended products, thumbs up, exit via cash register)
Never wrestle with a slug
Never wrestle with a slug. You both get slimy and the slug likes it.
Climbing update
For the first time in the past 6 months I was neither injured nor sick so I went bouldering with Gamma for the first time in more than 2 months or more – life kind of segued from various joint injuries and deaths and funerals to viruses to the famous eye lens replacement – and we were careful, especially of me, and I stuck to easy routes, and did not fall, and climbed back down instead of jumping, and stopped when the going got weird, and did not hurt myself, and got some good exercise, and Gamma rewarded me with the house pizza and a bottle of Radler (mix of lemonade and beer) and it was real nice hanging out with her.
My body is feeling wiggly right now, but it is nice to feel my body, and to be active again. I really missed it.
She listened politely while I cursed capitalism and the fairy tale of the free market, and while I babbled about Buddhism or rather the quasi-Buddhist quasi-concept of “let all that shit go” which has been on my mind lately, and although I have given up optimism I have also given up pessimism and worrying (theoretically) and this is an interesting vaccuum, for me, although maybe not for other people who are trying to eat their pizza while I talk about it not sure.
Sunday is Father’s Day here in Austria and I plan to go see an action movie with the kids and get something to eat. When Beta was a child we started a tradition of watching B-movies and criticizing them afterwards, listing all the historical, logical etc. errors and omissions (IIRC The Scorpion King with The Rock may have been the first, and I was real mad bc someone spray-painted my brand-new Doblo while we were in the theater), although I have difficulty finding anything to criticize on Abba-Teapot Peabody or whatever her name is although the prosthetic nose on Whatshisname Thorguy will be easy pickings I figure.
That is all.
For now.
Posted in Das Gehirn, Familie, Feral Living, Metamorphosism
Tags: bouldering, buddhism, children, climbing, fatherhood, grief, illness, injuries, life, memory, movies, parenting
Rain update
Everything was wet outside when I looked out the window just now, at like 6:25 or so. I woke up at 5:57. I got up at 5:57 I mean, 3 minutes ahead of when I had set an alarm for. I woke up a few times during the night as usual. I got up, opened the blinds but didn’t look out immediately. Made breakfast (0% Greek yogurt, a little müsli, a banana, coffee). After I had finished that I looked outside, where everything was wet but the sky looked brighter, as if the rain had stopped. Just in case I will bring an umbrella to work today. I forgot yesterday and got rather wet walking to the nearest shop to buy a spare.
I feel very stupid lately. Sleep is helping, but I can’t help wondering if it is because of all the viruses in the past 5 years, or if it is just going to be like this from now on due to me being 65, or whether I am actually smarter and just able to finally realize how stupid I am, Dunning-Kruger-wise.
Shrug emoji.
Anyway. Looking into the future: I will finish this second mug of coffee, go meditate, take a shower, get dressed (bed is already made, doing that right away helps against depression) and depending on the time walk to the office, feeding crows on the way, or waste time here until it is time to walk to the office. Later I will come back here, eat something, having shopped on the way for something to eat, then eventually go back to sleep. This is not as empty as it sounds, plus life has a way lately of being 1. delicious and 2. surprising.
That is the plan.
Posted in Das Gehirn, Feral Living, Metamorphosism
Dem bones
Although i was warned
that the rocks were slippery
i go skinny-dipping anyway
in a swedish lake
while falling the voice of the woman
who had warned me
flashes before my ear
my daughter Beta is like
dad are you okay and also put a towel on
my doctor says it could take months to heal
then i do something to my back
later
back home
weeks of pain to pay
for
sitting in the driveway
on a hot day
pulling weeds
face-palm emoji
eventually i go bouldering again, with Gamma
as soon as i can
and eventually i fall and fuck my back
back up
plus a bonus shoulder
today i finally have my appointment
with an orthopedist
(in the meantime, between my fall
and today’s appointment
i take muscle relaxants and painkillers
which make me depressed and suicidal
(says on the package)
bc Alpha and me go to Istria on a bus tour
and i want to enjoy it
which i did)
(anyway the meds help
although i stop taking them because
they make me groggy, depressed and determined to end it all.)
monday, day before yesterday,
i feel well enough to go
bouldering again with gamma
after which my hand, back and shoulder feel better
but now my knee hurts!
despite no accidents
my new orthopedist
waggles my leg and arm
and says well you know, kneebone connected
to the hip bone, etc, i
can give you a shot but just time
will do it too
i opt for time
one thing leads to another
gimpy back makes you stand funny
which stresses your knee
for want of a nail
now my other knee hurts more
but the first one hurts less
i’m not complaining-
just thinking about how
you learn more about a system
when it breaks down
than when it’s working
Posted in Das Gehirn, Feral Living, Metamorphosism
Tags: aging, complaining, pain, systems
When are you going to do these?
When are you going to do these?
My wife brandishes a sack of purple iris things and some other bulbs that she bought recently that i thanked her for buying.
On the weekend, I say, this not being the weekend, but Thursday, although I am home, having skipped work / opted to work from home due to the plausibility of a reaction from my 5th covid shot as an excuse.
It’s always the weekend, she says.
Which is true, I married a philosopher and she is retired now.
However I am drunk (and drunk gardening = risky), because we went to the bank today to negotiate a higher interest rate on my savings account after which we went for a walk along the Danube that ended abruptly at the Alpenverein with wine.
Abrupt and unexpected, but not unwelcome.
You only live once, so.
The problem is, i dunno.
Kid in a candy store problem, I guess.
In this abundant, beautiful world.
When there is so much to love.
Despite everything.
Posted in Das Gehirn, Familie, Feral Living, ferner liefen, Metamorphosism
Tags: abundance, banking, beauty, drunkenness, gardening, interest, love, wine