According to this Chinese medicine stuff, I might need more wood in my life.

A child has been sneaking into my bed at night and kicking me in the head. Sometimes she kicks me other places; in the side, in the hip, in the back. I tried rolling clear over to the edge, but she just expands to fill any available space. Plus she sweats and kicks off the covers. This has been going on for a long time. When I wake I am teetering on the edge of our king-sized mattress, and jump out of bed and hobble downstairs to make coffee, feed the morons cats, etc etc. It’s like living in a Raymond Carver world without the booze.

Young women make me pompous.

Somebody remind me when Michele’s getting married so I can send congratulations and a gift in time.

Schockwellenreiter says (in German) that if everyone were to post just 20 fake e-mail addresses on their websites (even invisibly commented-out, since some spiders do not differentiate between visible text and commented-out text), that would eventually pollute the e-mail lists compiled by spammers via spiders to the point that they would be discouraged from gathering addresses in this way. Does anyone know if this is true? I would think that, since the cost of collecting addresses in this way is low, they wouldn’t care if some mails bounced.

Just in case, here are 20 fake (I hope) e-mail addresses:

georgebush@sandiegozoo.com richardashcroft@blackhelicopters.org dickcheney@safelocation.org thisistedious@fakemail.net qwerty@qwertz.net qwertz@qerty001.com hot4U2004@yahoo.com spamlover1999@hotmail.com godzilla@toho.com lalalala@gettingoldfast.net deadhorse@kickkickkick.net deadhorse@flogflogflog.uk sq91ld1@ssssssspam.org 091243oa@fake.ta alsk01984@klajh.org only5togo@akjh.com asdjfkl@blammo99.net shoesRus@spambotsdie.org enlargewhat@finethankyou.net 10894@grok.edu

There’s this book I’ve been reading, “Sexual Intelligence: How to Increase Your Sexual Intelligence and Get What You Want in Bed,” which somehow cracks me up although I haven’t been able to figure out exactly what the joke is yet. Anyway, the main thesis is that it’s a good thing to understand what you want and why you want it, and to be able to communicate this. It’s good to know that all I need are self-knowledge and communication skills, and I’ll be fine.

It’s not a bad book, really, as stuff like that goes. It makes good points about raising kids to view sex without shame or guilt, but with intelligence. One thing a lot of people quoted in the book say is they wish their parents had talked with them about sex. Only 7% of people report that their parents did so.

So of course I march into Beta’s room, where she’s reading, and strike up a conversation.

I basically tell her the above.

“Not that I’m giving you a Sex Talk or anything,” I say.

“Mmm,” she says, reading. Some Anne of Green Gables book.

“For example, there was this woman quoted in the book, she was making out with this guy, and he kept putting her hand down to his crotch, and she didn’t feel like touching him there. He kept doing it, she kept pulling her hand away. Finally, she had enough and said, Look, I know where your penis is, if I wanted to touch it I would.”

Beta looks up from her book, “I’d punch him out.”

Me: “Yeah, well, er, that could be an appropriate response, or not, depending on the situation.”

Beta: “That’s what mom teaches us. She tells that to Gamma too.”

Me: “Heh, erm.”

Filled the Dobl