Underground Movement
About 1510 A.D. the Turks were besieging Vienna. They assaulted the walls of the city with all their might but to no avail. The walls held and other means had to be taken by the ingenious invaders to take the stronghold. They hit upon an underground movement-they decided to tunnel under the walls. This had to be a night job, of course. Drilling and moving the dirt-shift after shift of soldiers worked on the project…

The Pretzel Story.
[Via uren.dagen.nachten]

For days now I’ve had the urge to post something long and soulful instead of these dumbass jokes all the time. But now, staring lamely at this blinking cursor, it strikes me that there is a difference between having an urge and being in the mood. And I am simply not in a soulful mood. Maybe later. Maybe I’d be in a soulful mood right now if I’d had any sleep the past two nights, but Alpha is away for a week leaving me to deal with cats turning the night into day all by myself, and Gamma’s getting up several times a night to pee or drink or come into the big bed. Beta, at least, thank god, sleeps like a stone statue of a sleeping goddess.

So I give up on soulful. Caffeine-addled maybe. Maybe a decent rant, but, eh… how can you say anything funny about the president anymore, when he’s carrying out these pre-emptive humor strikes? Feh.

What is it, Tuesday? That’s all? Double-feh. And yet…

How beautiful are the eyes of my beloved.

Description: Small, salty and twisted.
May have changed appearance to avoid detection, but authorities doubt it will ever go straight. Unconfirmed sightings: Oktoberfest – Munich; New Braunfels, TX.
Inform local authorities immediately if you spot this pretzel, but do not attempt to apprehend by yourself.

Two years ago I had a tooth drilled without anesthetic because I was curious what it feels like. Many Austrians eschew anesthetic when having their teeth drilled (“I have fear of needles”), and I wanted to see what the whole “Marathon Man” thing was about.

I won’t say I was not looking forward to going to the ball, because I was looking forward to it, somehow, but on my way there yesterday, I would have paid $20 to trade places with someone on his way to a meeting with Dr. Szell.

The first ball Alpha and I have ever gone to together started at 8.30 PM. We got there right on time. There was a small orchestra. There was a cheesy band. Friends had reserved a table with a great view of the hall, which was grandly decorated with large floral displays; chandeliers gleaming. Most women, including Alpha, were decked out in ball gowns; most men were in tuxedos, although I was relieved to see that I was not the only man in a suit.

Do you go to a lot of balls? Are social events of this kind a normal occurrence for you? Let me just explain that people did not go to balls where I grew up, at least not anyone I knew. Balls are a very foreign thing for me, especially the social aspect – recognizing and greeting people in time to avoid making them feel snubbed and so on.

Funny thing. I’d always thought I couldn’t dance. But Alpha dragged me out onto the dance floor and there we remained for what felt like hours. It turns out that ballroom dancing is easy if you have the right partner!

Seven fool-proof feral ballroom dancing tips

1. Get a partner who knows what she is doing and is wearing a floor-length ball gown

2. Dance close to her, so you can hide your feet under her gown
3. Do what she says
4. This consists mainly of slowly walking forward while she slowly walks backward, and turning every now and then
5. Try not to bump into people too hard
6. Avoid making a pumping motion with your left hand, which – remember – is sticking out, holding her right hand. People who know how to dance apparently frown on this for some reason.
7. Quickly, yet gracefully leave the floor when the tango starts

What else can I tell you about the ball? They had a bar in the basement, where 6 of us had champagne. Among other fine beverages, the bar also served Red Bull and gin tonics. (Red Bull, in fact, is the most successful Austrian export since the Glock pistol.)

Other fall facts: most men look great in a decent tuxedo, and if they can dance they look like James Bond (usual disclaimers apply). They had a disco, run by the usual fat kid with lots of sound equipment, where they happened to be playing oldies (i.e. songs we knew) when we dropped in, so a few of us grownups did some dancing there too. I enjoyed that part because I was able to dance without hiding my feet under Alpha’s dress. It was my lucky night, because the young shaved-headed weight-lifter types who took over our table while we were in the bar and disco didn’t punch me out when I gave them the thumb-over-the-shoulder combined with the head motion sign language for “beat it”. Alpha thinks it’s because she told them to “get up”. I think they may have felt even more awkward than I did, and that saved me.

We ate schnitzels shortly before midnight. At midnight, they take a break and put on a show of some kind. Among other things, dancing chickens.

Last but not least, Beta makes tasty pudding.

Off to the ball, tell you all about it tomorrow. Hopefully with pictures.

Mig Living’s work investigates the nuances of vibrations through the use of slow motion and close-ups which emphasize the Generative nature of digital media. Living explores abstract and slimy scenery as motifs to describe the idea of hyper-real reality. Using tuberous loops, lasers, and slow-motion images as patterns, Living creates meditative environments which suggest the expansion of art…

Via Vex who saw it at Riley Dog before I did.

First Melly broke my brain with the bunny and the apple, now this. (Warning: touching and fine, not weird.)