Dear car designers,

My wife’s headlight burned out yesterday. Her car’s headlight. So I went to change it. Step 1: turn on headlights and blind yourself looking at them up close to see which bulbs are burned out. Step 2: go find screwdriver to unscrew some fucking barrier lid thing under the hood to even get at the headlight. Step 3: start prying off the rubber thing over the headlight. Step 4: notice a spring type clamp thing holding the bulb in real tight. Step 5: recall the zinging sound the spring type clamp thing in your own car made when it disappeared once when you were changing your own headlight. Step 6: Read the manual. Step 7: The manual says, If it’s the XYZ bulb (the one that happens to have burned out) don’t try to change yourself, take to an authorized service place. Step 8: fuck, man. Step 9: Wife takes car to auto club place since all dealers and service places are closed this time on a weekend. Step 10: Auto club mechanic with injured hand takes about an hour to change bulb. Step 11: Swear, when shopping for another car, to examine the headlights first and rule out a purchase if the bulbs cannot be easily changed.

At last

It explains George W. Bush, global warming, mullets, the war in Iraq, the bailouts, the war on drugs, and everything else, including the comments here.

Finally, the universal explanation for everything.

Everything except why my back goes out the weekend we have to haul 2 sofas home, and two more to the dump.

On writing

3.30 AM is a good time to write. The house is quiet, except for the kittens rolling around the kitchen floor in a Tupperware mixing bowl, their current favorite toy after the concert harp, which is off-limits. Gamma is sleeping upstairs, Alpha is in Japan and Beta went back to her dorm last night.

If you close the kitchen door, Gamma can’t hear you when you slam your forehead on the kitchen table to wake yourself up every ten minutes.

In this fashion, 2000 words get written in, roughly, 2 hours.

Random words, mostly:

the,orange,the,shopping,list,a,water bottle,tile,ceiling,pyjamas.