crisis | Metamorphosism

Crisis Warehouse

The clerk at Crisis Warehouse made the mistake of asking him “how he was” at a time in his life when he felt compelled to give the full account.
“I may have had a breakthrough this morning,” he said.
She leaned over the counter and whispered, “then maybe you should be at Breakthrough Warehouse.”
He shook his head. “It’s, I’m not sure. It’s like, I always thought, if I have no expectations of how a thing should be, I am never frustrated. And I just realized, now that I am hopeless, it’s similar, I am never disappointed.”
“Or maybe Wisdom Discount,” she said.
“But giving up disappointment and frustration leaves a great emptiness,” said the man.
“So it’s a crisis after all,” said the clerk.
“They don’t tell you that the things you try to fix, the sadness, desire and shame, the fear and guilt and anger, also sustain you. Like a tent built around the wrong frame.”
A man waiting his turn in line at the cash register asked, “is this going to take long?”
“Freedom from all the negatives can leave a great feeling of loss and emptiness,” said the clerk. “Because it really is a great loss.”
“I have nothing to fill it with right now.”
“So don’t,” said the clerk. “It’s okay to be empty sometimes. It’s okay to lie on the ground and watch your sadness blow away, get caught on a cyclone fence and flap in the wind, break loose and disappear into the dusk and trees.”
“Just don’t,” said the clerk. “Do nothing at all.”
“Do nothing at all,” she repeated.
“Have a nice day,” she said. “Don’t forget your crisis.”
“Next!” she said.

Adulthood, part 239897490780981234

You may recall the Microsoft 3-D pipes screensaver. If you imagine that leaking uncontrollably from every joint, you have an approximate idea of what it looked like under my kitchen sink last week after I tried to fix a leak and then, as a test I guess? turned the dishwasher on.
I had two buckets under there catching the water, and still had to hold a dish to catch what they missed.
On the bright side our ant infestation is slightly better, maybe they had been taking a short cut under the sink.
I called a plumber and told the woman who answered the phone, I would try to fix it myself but my wife has forbidden that. She LOL’ed.
She said the earliest someone could come was the following day. I said, I’ll take it. Then I called a second plumber, and when he miraculously was able to come the SAME day, by NOON, I called the first plumber and cancelled (as I had warned them I might), AFTER the other plumber had finished and I was satisfied everything was okay.
“Two gaskets were in backwards,” said the plumber’s helper, when he presented me with the bill for signature. “That may have been me, but it may have been someone else,” I said, and signed.
When I checked under the sink, everything had new gaskets AND they had rearranged the pipes in a more rational order. I don’t recall who did the original plumbing, but it looked somewhat random, where the sink trap had been placed and the angles of the pipes. It looks better now.
My wife was impressed that I managed to get a plumber to come on short notice, and says I may deal with plumbers from now on.
I guess it was the desperation in my voice, combined with my generally jolly yet panicky nature.

Metamorphosism

Tag Archives: crisis

Crisis Warehouse

Adulthood, part 239897490780981234