Gang of four noble truths

Four noble truths walk into a bar.

“Everything sucks,” says the first noble truth. “I’m dying for a pint. My job sucks. I am insufficiently kind to those I love.”

“I’m sorry, we don’t serve alcohol,” says the bartender.

“What?” says the first noble truth.

“You are only miserable because you think you should always be happy,” says the second noble truth.

“I’m miserable because I have a splitting headache and you somehow found the only bar in the world that doesn’t serve alcohol,” says the first noble truth.

“You only think you have a headache. But who is the You who has a headache? There is no You. The headache has you, and not the other way around,” says the second noble truth.

“WTF are you talking about,” says the first noble truth and lights a cigarette.

“No smoking,” says the bartender.

“Oh ferfuckssake,” says the first noble truth and puts his cigarettes away.

“What the second noble truth is trying to say is, if you could overcome your craving…” says the third noble truth, but the first noble truth jumps him before he can finish his sentence.

“Bar fight!” someone yells, and everyone else in the bar whips out their smart phones and films the first noble truth fighting the third noble truth while the second noble truth tries to break them up.

The fourth noble truth sits down at the other end of the bar, laughing and laughing.

“What’s so funny?” says a woman on the next stool.

The fourth noble truth shakes his head. “Everything. Nothing. I don’t know. I was so thirsty I drank a liter of ice water and my stomach sloshed for hours. Someone I love needed a compliment and a pat on the back and I didn’t notice until hours later. My dreams have been unusual. The world is mysterious.”

“You from around here?” asks the woman.

“Am I ever,” says the fourth noble truth.