I was just standing there last night, minding my own business when my wife began doing situps in the hallway, coached by my oldest daughter.
My wife was topless, by the way. I can say that, right? We were all getting ready for bed and she remembered she still wanted to do situps, so she did some while my kid stood there and gave her pointers. We encourage exercise in our household so I did what any husband would do: ran into the office and grabbed the digital camera.
Unfortunately for me, my daughter is a competitive rower and amazingly strong and I did go through that phase when she was little, you know the phase, where dads teach their girls to throw a punch?
Anyway Beta went all bodyguard on me. I felt like a papparazzo trying to snap a shot of a Baldwin brother. Since I’m her dad, I guess, she only hit me in the shoulder, but man. Medium-sized fists of death. She pummeled me backwards, back into the office where I sat down.
“Knock it off for a second, kid.”
“Delete those pictures.”
“Will you quit hitting me.”
“Delete those.”
“Right away. Knock it off. Will you stop.”
“Delete.”
“Yeah, right away. I already said. Just let me check if any turned out first, okay?”
Got a couple good ones of the palm of her hand up in front of the lens, bodyguard style.
(1) your wife was TOPLESS?
(2) your daughter didn’t think it was weird that her mum was TOPLESS, but she did think it was weird that you wanted to take photos of her mum TOPLESS?
there is something really weird going on here.
This is Europe, remember.
“What’s that one, gramma Beta?”
“That’s me blocking your great-grandfather Mig’s camera.”
“Why were you doing that?”
“Because he was taking a picture of your great-grandmother when she was naked.”
“Oh.”
“Great gramma Alpha was naked?”
“Yep.”
“…eeeew.”
Everyone knows sit-ups are 50% more effective when done topless.
I am naked under my clothing RIGHT NOW!
(it makes my clothing 50% more fashionable)
I just want to say that I spent the past six-and-a-half hours searching Google for “amateur candid topless sit-up pictures” and after a long, horrific struggle wading through hundreds of false positives, finally made it to this page, where I was (again) bitterly, bitterly disappointed.
Nevermind the boobies thing…
Your problem is that now Beta knows she can beat you into submission and so do you. Things will never NEVER be the same.
It wasn’t exactly *submission*. I was worried she’d damage the camera.
o god.
this made my day!
This does not gel well with my conviction that you live in a house full of female robots.
Although it does say that when Beta starts dating seriously she’ll be able to look after herself and probably won’t succumb to that awful “I broke up with my ex and he has naked pictures of me on the Internet!” problem people are having these days.
URL??
(I couldn’t get to the “off” switch.)
Topless situps on hardwood floors? That’s super hardcore.
My love of La Beta continues to grow exponentially.