Not sure about the rest of me, but my skin made it through the generations from my original cave-dwelling, nocturnal Irish ancestors unchanged: pale as hell. In summer, I go from lily-white to burn straight to carcinoma, skipping the tanning phase entirely. So when I actually acquired a little color this summer vacation from all the time spent outside in all the wonderful weather we got, I was quite happy and even proud.
Which frame of mind resulted in this conversation when I returned to work and a plump and saucy young co-worker welcomed me back to work.
PASYCW: Weren’t you on vacation?
Me: Yeah. [??]
PASYCW: But… I thought you’d go somewhere south or something.
Me: [??] Huh?
PASYCW: Cause your skin… you’re not very brown. [Note: she is Asian, and therefore tans quite easily and deeply]
Me: Are you kidding? This is the brownest I’ve ever been. [Hold out arm, pointing out contrast between white sleeve and sort of tan arm]
PASYCW: [Raises eyebrows skeptically]
Me: BTW, I had a dream about you.
PASYCW: Really? What did I do?
Me: [Oops] Eh, nothing really.
PASYCW: How interesting. [Cute smile]
Me: I mean, not much was going on.
PASYCW: Uh huh.
Me: It was just, you had fat legs in the dream. [Elephantine, actually, in the dream.]
PASYCW: Really. [Looks down at her own legs]
Me: Heh! Only in the dream, heh. It was just a dream!
PASYCW: Fat legs.
Me: Just in the dream! You have really nice legs. Not fat.
PASYCW: Well, I’d better distribute these documents.
Me: Sexy legs. Not fat. Bye!