Wanna superanthropomorphosize that?

enchantx1.jpgThere was an article in some newspaper I read, International Herald Tribune or the Japan Times, on the left page down low (maybe, if I remember right — think twice before calling me to act as a defense witness at your trial), about what’s-his-face that fat leftist who makes “movies” that (duh) win prizes in France, and Disney not wanting to distribute them in the US. And Eisner says this and those other guys on the other side say that, in the article. And Disney’s excuse (in this article, which is a couple days old by now so maybe they have a better nother one now) is (and I paraphrase) “Some of our customers may be offended by the movie.”

And it occurred to me that I am a major Disney customer (I have a 7-year-old girl, dude) who is offended by their decision not to distribute the film in the US and (it would seem) to delay as long as possible anyone else from distributing it in the US either. So I am boycotting them. No more Disney products, no Disney films (unless the name Pixar is also on them, that’s my one exception), no Disney media or other productions of any kind, nothing licensed by Disney, no cereals or sheets or items of clothing, no nicknacks that glow in the dark or sparkle, none of that despicable shite (unless Gamma screams her head off, of course, in accordance with my parenting strategy of rewarding my offspring for screaming their heads off, on the theory that getting good at screaming your head off helps them out later in life). I estimate (conservatively) that our household spends about $2 million annually on such Disney products, so they’ll feel this, man.

And anyway, be honest: Disney is fucking creepy. Walt was the philosophical father of Michael Jackson, wasn’t he? He had a thing about kids too, didn’t he, and putting them on rides, that whole pre-pubescent thing, Annette Funicello and Britney Spears and Mouseketeer and all that shit. And Disneyland is so clean and sexless and usually always works and people wait passively in very long lines and don’t get pissed off and childhood is worshipped as some special place instead of the

  1. fictional cultural construct, and

  2. oft-times horrible, or at least confusing and complicated place

it really is. With fucking pirates and anthropomorphosized (and superanthropomorphosized) creatures of various species. And goddamned Peter Pan, the very symbol of all that trash. It has always struck me as a fascist utopia, and this current Disney support of the Bush regime and corruption on a massive scale and torture and denial of due process and all those other human rights violations, and all that other rogue superpower stuff fits right in with that, doesn’t it? If you look closely at the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume, you’ll see an Uruk-Hai squinting out the eyeholes.

5 responses to “Wanna superanthropomorphosize that?

  1. kay



  2. okay, but a million years ago, when disney was “behind” the ellen degeneres show, which featured a lesbian! on tv! which is shocking!! a bunch of southern baptists tried to organize a disney boycott…
    …and realized it was impossible. you don’t even know how many pies disney’s fingers are in. put it this way: it goes beyond the princesses.
    wow, i meant that to sound gross, but not QUITE that gross. but now i’m all pleased with my accidental graphic metaphor, so, i’m leaving it. must…find… breathalizer.

    ehn. disney should let miramax distribute it, cause it’s a miramaxy kind of film and they want to and it will make them piles of money. but i’d march in the streets to defend their right to not distribute it, if they feel like that. it seems a bad financial decision; on the other hand, that seems to be sort of eisner’s specialty.

    also: don’t even get me started on disney.

  3. I used to live in Orlando, and would wonder at how the workers at Disney could always remain so cheerful and smiling. Then it occurred to me that maybe when you go there for an interview, they conk you on the head and replace you with an audio-animatronic double programmed to be eternally chipper. This is entirely within the realm of possibility; I’m sure their robotic technicians have come a long way since The Hall of the Presidents or the Country Bears. Evil niblet fucks.

  4. mig

    Oh, Anne, shut the hell up would you? Jesus fu…

    Just kidding. I may have been stating the obvious there, mayn’t I. And, yeah, boycotts on the one hand, but on the other that’s what it comes down to, what you spend your money on. Like I’d rather go to another prostate exam (which it occurs to me I’m overdue for… expect a post on that once I locate a urologist, as my old one is gone until July for some reason) than pay to see a movie by that one guy, Demi Moore’s ex-husband, Bruce Willis, because he’s a Republican, you know?

    Does that make me a cranky old cranky guy?

    You know what Beta said after reading that Disney post over my shoulder? “At least you’re ranting here, where I can just click the window closed, and not in the car where I have to listen to it all the way to school.”

  5. i’m with you! down with disney…not least for their violent, violent movies where girls simper and boys are gallant… oh no Walt, nothing sexist there! give me Shrek and the kick boxing princess over Cinderella any day!