Four-day weekend here over Easter. The Easter Bunny got up before five in the morning on Sunday to hide eggs and baskets in the back yard. Some he hid waaay up in trees because he was sooo sleepy. Then he ate some cereal and went back to bed. The little one woke up around six and her big sister stalled her just in case and my wife woke me up and said, Are the baskets hidden? And I said yeah and went back to sleep, or tried, except the Easter Bunny had neglected to hide baskets for his in-laws and some elderly friends of theirs, thinking it didn’t matter as they weren’t going to come over anyway and, like, look for them or anything, but this turned out to be a bad idea since, What if Gamma should ask, where did these baskets come from? So the Easter Bunny snuck out the front door and hid the other baskets in front of the house, although Gamma had asked him, earlier, “Are you the Easter Bunny?” to which he had replied, “nah, nah” and Gamma accepted this, since kids aren’t stupid and prolong any myth that results in presents.
The kids got clothes and stuff. My wife got a watch. I got a new cell phone. Because I had exhausted any patience and brainpower hanging cabinets in the bathroom, my fourteen-year-old daughter had to program the fucker. I like how every cell phone company makes theirs a little different to program, since that’s good for customer loyalty: “it was so hard to learn how to program my Altoid Callmaster, no way am I switching to another brand now…”. So I was sitting at the PC last night, trying to layout a newspaper for someone, and my daughter is sitting beside me going, “Oh! Your phone has Snake! Mind if I play a little Snake on your phone, dad?” and my wife is reading articles aloud to me for some reason, like, “this guy ate only cottage cheese for a month and lost weight!”
Anyway, apparently the phone is programmed now. Will they someday make a mobile phone that is, simply, a phone? And nothing else? I even have a free advertising slogan for them: “It’s just a fucking phone, for chrissakes.” Or will people like me be dependent on teenagers all our lives?
Monday, my wife made steak and boy can she cook steak. Then we all went for a walk in the woods and dug up a couple flowers that I sure hope aren’t protected and planted them in our yard when we got home.
of all the stupid things, i’m dependent on my teenager to connect and reconnect the damn vcr, which i hardly ever use, but can only use when a teenager is nearby…
i’d rather be dependent on their monumentous income, gah.
Grumpy, grumpy old man.
I want one of those Dick Tracy flying trash cans, man, who needs a wristwatchpicturephone?
my favorite function on my cell phone is the ability to compose the ring. i can stick three minutes of Schoenberg’s Pierre Lunaire on the ring tone and educate people in the grocery store or at the gas station or on the bus. when my phone rings, they’re like wht the fck is THAT!!?
I’m with zulieka: my phone plays, alternately, an old Gary Numan song or an equally old Sisters of Mercy song. Instant ohrwurm.
I’m a cell phone Luddite. I get so few calls at home, why should I bother with a cell pnone. I actually have a dinosaur I got in 1997. When the battery quit they no longer had replacements. So I keep it in my car, along with the car connector, in case of a traffic emergency when I’m commuting.
Ah, yes, Scott: but will it play Lunaire or Numan when it rings?