Faeries

Gamma had two friends over so when I got home late last night the house looked as if… imagine faeries are having a war and are going off to war, or are going away for a long time for some reason like to college or off on some faery quest and they have a big paerty beforehaend to say good bye to their faemilies and fraends and shag their sweethearts senseless in all sorts of constellations in one, potentially final, huge bash with faery lights hovering around and a gigantic punchbowl full of some delectable intoxicating nectar-like liquid pulsating like disco lights and glitter, glitter everywhaer. That’s what the house looked like. I thought, eh, little girls at play. I even had glitter on me and I had only been home five minutes. From the upstairs, clear down to the cellar, glitter tracks.

And Gamma was tired.

And we went to bed.

And this morning, wind and sand blowing in from the Sahara. Pretty sunsets.

Cats sleeping here and there. Glittering cats.

I’m cranky as hell. Cynical and sarcastic and nasty.

Gamma stood beside me. Placed one hand on my back, one hand on my stomach, and said, “whoa, dad,” in a serious tone. I’d read that if you want to lose weight, best way is to eat 5-6 meals a day instead of just 3 or heaven forbid, fasting. Maybe they should be smaller than average maels. I’ll have to try that next week.

7 responses to “Faeries

  1. glitter makes you look thinner. honest.

  2. I just started a diet yesterday and by my calculations will have to be on it until the Cubs win the World Series. I bet you are not as fat as I am. Even with glitter all over me I would still look this bad.

  3. mig

    sometimes it takes a six-year-old girl measuring your girth to get you into the gym.

    (this was special glitter, too. i think it was the stuff you sent around christmas, ratty. although we have 23 different types of glitter around this place…)

  4. mae

    I’ve read that about 5-6 small meals, but I’ve also read that it doesn’t work because people don’t remember how often they’ve eaten or take portion sizes into consideration or eat candy bars instead of carrot sticks. I know eating all meals before 5 PM helps a lot of people lose weight. I have a “normal” weight and always have (though I have been 20 lbs heavier and 20 lbs lighter than I am now), but I don’t personally eat after 8 PM. I’m also a demi-vegetarian since I have IBS. No beef or pork and limited dairy and eggs. I’ve been trying to cut out chicken too, because I feel bad for the chickens. I also try to follow portion sizes and types recommended by the FDA on the food pyramid. I know you are in Europe, so your idea of portion sizes may not be as inflated as the average American’s idea. I used to hear recommended that you not eat more food than your two fists put together in one sitting because your stomach is the size of your two fists. Currently the government is recommended 30 minutes of walking a day as the best form of exercise, which I do because my car is parked 15 minutes away from my workplace (sucks in the rain or hot weather). Other tricks are to park your car reasonably far away from your destination and always take the stairs when it’s an option. I’ve never dieted and would never consider a fad diet like Atkins. I’ve made a commitment to my lifestyle, and it’s done well for me.

  5. Well, I told you that I was going to start commenting over here again, but unless you are willing to wear a t-shirt that says: “Dangerous Curves Ahead”, I don’t think a post about exercise is the place for me to start.

  6. The glitter totally adds 10lb.

    So does a sedentary, couchbound lifestyle like the one I’ve been leading since starting Beauregard on his new meds. He neeeeds me to lay down and be his security blanket. Or security human. So it’s me and the cat and the iBook, being productive with the writing but losing muscle tone.
    Until, of course, the iBook dies horribly, due to a predicted but hoped-against malfunction in all iBooks of its serial-number series. Apparently they all went kablooey last week, so instead of having it repaired and back to me by tomorrow it may be 2 1/2 weeks. Without my iBook.

    I wonder how much effect merely sitting upright in the cold, dark office back here will have.

    P.S. (faeries shagging their sweethearts? At like 6? Your life is rougher than I thought!)

  7. mig

    faeries shagging their sweethearts on my watch, in short, hot pants.