Night walk

Where is this going?
I sleep at odd hours, to avoid your dreams; I’m not usually out at this time. It’s midnight and I’m surprised to see some of the neighbors are still up, their house lights still burning.
But the streets are empty as I head out of the village. I stagger a little as I walk down the sidewalk.


I’m tired, not drunk, but you wouldn’t want me behind the wheel of a car all the same. A dog inside a sleeping house a hundred meters away from our house barks and barks as he hears me walk past.
As a boy I was afraid of the dark, afraid of the night, but tonight I don’t give a shit. I’m not worried about… about what? Nothing out there scares me. Still, I decide not to take the path that goes past the cemetery. Mostly because I don’t want to walk that far in the first place.
I can’t sleep because I’m upset. The why I won’t go into here, a fight with your mother where things exploded so fast it scared both of us. I felt an animal burst out of me, unexpectedly, I had been in a good mood when I came home.
She slept on the sofa, I tried to sleep in bed. Then I read. Then I went for this walk.
It is winter, it is cold out, but not that cold. I have gloves on but pockets would do.
I walk far without any effort, without even noticing that I’m walking. At first my head is roaring, my head is more there than the world.
Then I notice the lights of the strip mall reflected in the creek.
They follow me as I walk parallel to the water.
Now and then cars drive past on the distant street.
My footsteps make no sound on the path, I’m wearing running shoes. The ringing in my ears is the only sound I hear except for the cars and the barking dog. My tinitus is getting worse.
I come to a bridge, and that is where I turn around and walk home again.
Maybe I can sleep now.

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