I can perform fine, as long as there’s no audience; that’s one reason why I don’t attend a lot of orgies. Next Monday I play cello with the recorder ladies at their recorder class recital. We (this is sounding familiar to me, if I’ve already posted about this please just humor me) rehearsed Monday in the hall where it’s going to take place, and I did just fine until I made the mistake of imagining the room full of an audience, at which point my fingers switched to autopilot and started wandering around the neck of my cello, no longer under my control. Also, I blushed and got all flustered. At the mere thought.
Last night I tried to practice the piece at home, and had all sorts of new problems. I don’t know what to do about it. There’s nothing I could take. The amount of any drug sufficient to calm me down, even the most harmless, such as chamomille tea, would poison me first.
Michele once remarked on her blog that, before giving a speech or something, she tried to imagine the members of the audience dead. I don’t think that would help me either. My oldest daughter, who plays lots of concerts, recitals, etc., has little sympathy. My youngest daughter, on the other hand, strongly resembles me in this manifestation of shyness. My wife says, “you better not make any mistakes, your children will be sitting in the audience.”
I need a different creative pursuit, one with an invisible audience, say, but that could somehow still give feedback. Ideally something I could do from work…
Just close your eyes or wear dark sunglasses, that does it for me when I don’t want to look the audience in the eyes.
Well see, you’re actually lucky. You will be playing an instrument and won’t actually be looking at anyone. Just concentrate entirely on the music and on feeling it as you play it. There will be no audience if you can become one with your cello and your fellow recorder players during the performance.
Besides, there is always the chance you may just be so blinded by the lighting that you won’t be able to see the audience anyway.
If not, become one with your cello!
let the notes be your audience, not the people
will that actually help? prolly not, since i don’t know a lick of music, so my advice is prolly moot
Wish we could hear a recording of your performance… I bet you’re just being waaay too modest.
I when I was young, I’d take my glasses off — I wouldn’t be able to see as far as the audience. Now, of course, if I took my contacts out, I also wouldn’t be able to see as far as my hands, so that’s not so much an option anymore.
I feel for you, but I know you’ll do great.
And yeah, that anonymous creative pursuit with feedback sounds great. If only…..
Thanks everyone. Dark glasses are unfortunately not an option, Joeri, as that would appear to ostentatious since it’s at night and classical music, although I will definitely consider that if I ever get a heavy-metal cello combo organized, which I would call “Apocaplectica” of course. Eye-closing also bad idea since I don’t have the piece entirely memorized yet.
LIA, I will try to become one with my cello. I even polished it yesterday.
Allan, letting the notes be my audience I don’t think will work; the audience will be too obviously *there* for me to ignore them entirely.
Chris, I’m not being modest. After 2 years, I can play simple pieces okay (i.e. I’m a hell of a lot better than last year). I’m just sort of freaking out stagefright-wise is all. I’m hoping, by igniting the fright early, it will burn itself out by the time of the recital and I’ll be okay. Unfortunately I don’t really have any way to record the recital nor myself at home, or I would post something.
Sarah, taking my glasses off isn’t an option for me, since I only need them for reading. The music stand is far enough away for me to read the music without glasses, and I can see the audience perfectly. Maybe if I left my glasses on… the audience would be blurry… must think about that…