Careers in Science: Catechectics

Here is the way to piss off the catechectician: answer his question with another question.

It works every time.

It works like a charm.

A question is followed by an answer.

“I don’t know” is acceptable, if you don’t know an answer.

“I’d rather not answer that,” is acceptable, if you’d rather not answer.

“Did you take out the garbage, did you feed the cats, why are you asking, how am I supposed to know, what’s that on your nose?” are all unacceptable.

It’s very simple.

Question, answer. Like that.

This: “?” is followed by this: “.”, and not another “?”.

The catechectician also is tired of being criticized. He is so tired of it, in fact, that he says the hell with it and leaves the person criticizing him.

It is night time. It is dark and the catechectician is tired. He drives around in the dark planning his next move. The best plan he can come up with is to drive in a big circle as he realizes the only hotel nearby sucks and he has no friends he could drop in on.

The catechectician dislikes three things above all, in his immediate vicinity: questions answered with questions, criticism and drama.

He wonders, am I projecting?

Am I the one causing drama, like by walking out?


Who’s asking? he asks.

Who wants to know?

The catechectician consults the I Ching online and gets such awesome results he continues consulting it until the I Ching gets sick of it and stops making sense.

Quit being an asshole, says the I Ching.

If you want to attract people, you have to be attractive, says the I Ching.

Fill your well, says the I Ching.

Who’s asking? says the I Ching.

Who wants to know?

6 responses to “Careers in Science: Catechectics

  1. anne

    The catechectician should drive until he gets to my town, and I would make him coffee if it was morning when he got here, or pour him a martini if it was night, and I wouldn’t ask a single question.

  2. Jann

    There are some advantages to living alone.

  3. Jann

    Two of the most annoying (in my opinion) and most often heard examples of questions “answered” with questions are:
    1)Q: Did you do that?
    A: Why would I do that?
    2)Q: Do you think *I* did that?
    A: Did you?

  4. Paul

    Well, there is another irritating response to a question, which is when the other person just doesn’t say anything, you think they heard the question, but they don’t say yes OR no, OR ask a question. That can be really frustrating, do I demand an answer? That seems kind of like asshole behavior, but not getting an answer is really frustrating.

    But to walk out and be a sad middle aged man driving around town alone, I would have to be really, really fed up, so I assume that is the state the catechectician was in. (But at least I live near some decent hotels, so that would make the situation not quite so sad).

  5. mig

    Paul, good point about a non-response being a poor response as well. This can be caused by semi-deafness sometimes, though, and not always ill intent.
    But, yeah.

  6. k

    been there. oftenly.

    so i’m telling myself i assume there must be some awesome reason my character needs to be tested on a regular basis.