The man is in the shower. The girl is in the kitchen. The girl is home sick, second day in a row.
The man finishes his shower and is drying off when he hears the following two things:
- The girl making panicky noises, yelling and stuff.
- Gray cat making a noise like it is trying to yack a knitting needle.
The man has heard these noises before. Noise one means the girl is upset about something. He assumes she is upset about noise two. Noise two means the cat is about to vomit. The man knows he has about one second to throw the cat outside.
The man does the following in less than one second:
- Finishes drying off, more or less, so he doesn’t track water through the house.
- Runs naked into the kitchen and grabs the cat the way you do in this situation, sort of like an automatic rifle that is firing at random.
Then the man runs with the cat to the front door, opens the door and throws the cat outside.
Too bad for the man, though that #1 and #2 used up his second, so when he’s running through the kitchen and entry way naked, holding the cat like a rifle that is firing, the cat is spewing its breakfast on everything. It was not a dignified moment for anyone.
Too bad police weren’t kicking the door in to arrest me, the man tells the girl. Or missionaries knocking at the door.
Waste of a cat.
The man got dressed. Then he cleaned things up.
There are several mental images conjured by this post which I will now be unable to expunge from my brain.
Sorry, forgot the ‘don’t read during meal’ tag.
I’m with Brian on the mental images… and I got several of those at work today too. I guess it’s just “unwanted mental images” day or something.
I’m with Brian and Meagan on the mental images; but I get it! Your kitchen is covered with a $10,000 white Persian carpet and the cat food has red dye in it. Makes perfect sense!
As a person who has been owned by cats most of her seventyish life, I can empathize totally.
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