Ling-Ling: Special K?
Man: What’s wrong with Special K?

Ling-Ling: Nothing, nothing. It’s just…
Man: It’s five-thirty in the morning in Central Europe, sorry, all the garden shops, florists and nurseries are still closed. Where am I supposed to get bamboo at five-thirty in the morning?
Ling-Ling: Don’t sweat it.
Man: Coffee?
Ling-Ling: No thanks, I had a cup. If I drink too much of that I’m like this, you know? BZZZ!!
Man: What now?
Ling-Ling: Nothing. Just wondering: what’s with all the wet voles?
Man: Don’t get started. Forget the voles.
Ling-Ling: He was here, wasn’t he?

Man: I said don’t get…
Ling-Ling: You of all people. I can’t believe you fell for the weasel.
Man: Shut up.
Ling-Ling: What is it with humans and talking animals? The most cynical, skeptical person, it doesn’t matter, they meet a talking animal and believe everything he says.
Man: That fish in New York recently…
Ling-Ling: Oh, the fish was real. Forget the fish. But a weasel?
Man: How should I know. And anyway, what’s a panda got that a weasel doesn’t?
Ling-Ling: Massive fucking claws, for one thing. I’m not pulling your leg. Look at these massive fucking claws, dude. Those little kids going, ooh, how cute? Sheeit. Climb in the cage with me for a second, little kid. Just one second. Cute.

Man: What about libido, though? A weasel has you beat there.
Ling-Ling: Libido, schmibido. Who needs it? You have any idea how sick I am of all the negotiation and begging sex involves? Jee-sus-Christ. I’m in heaven, I get to lie around all day eating and watching prOn.
Man: Hrm.
Ling-Ling: Seriously.
Man: All day?