In the course of his research, the pseudoptician arrives at a series of conclusions:

• It is easier to spot green prunes in a prune tree at night than it is in the day. In the daytime, they look nearly as green as the leaves. At night, the leaves look dark grey and the prunes look almost white.
• He really fucking hates it when an adult burps in his face. When a guy did it at work, twice, he nearly punched him in the throat out.
• If you google an old acquaintance you liked and they write back and ask gee what a surprise what motivated you to write, you will never hear from them again if you give them an honest answer, at least if you do it on the downward slope of a serious depression.
• Paris is very large.
• People, people, people.