As it is her story and not mine, I won’t go into detail, but Beta is okay. It was worse than it would be in a perfect world, but a lot better than it could have been, and I am finding all sorts of ways to be proud of her, before, during and after.

And did you know someone can go on a business trip somewhere, Tokyo say, and you can send flowers to their hotel? How cool is that? The only problem is, if you do it once, you have to do it forever. But as problems go, that’s surmountable. Also, she got an upgrade on her flight. She being Alpha, naturally. And a bunch of other cool stuff.

Meanwhile, Gamma and I are holding down the fort. My suits all look as if I’m wearing Uggs, from the sheddy red cat rubbing up against my legs, and the young cats got into a garbage can and had a tissue shredding party in the house, and I dropped a plastic container of fruit salad and did sort of a spatter experiment in my kitchen, but otherwise we’re fine. My deadpan skills are being honed as Gamma tells me about her piercing plans, what you’re allowed to have pierced as soon as you’re 13, and what you have to wait until you’re 18 to have pierced.

Body chemistry is a mysterious thing.