Person 1: “Empty out the dishwasher, get the little one dressed *and* clean up after the Greek land tortoise? I’m not going to do all three, you have to do at least one.”
Person 2: “In that case I’ll take the dishwasher.”
Person 1: “Aha! You were on the computer last night! You saw the mess the tortoise made, and you left it for someone else to clean up!”
Person 2: “Well if you know about it, then you obviously saw it first, when it was fresh, yet you left it for the next person to chisel off the parquette floor after it got rock-hard.”
Person 1: [thinking... thinking...]
Person 2: “There’s a reason why all those ancient temples in Greece are still standing, man, the Parthenon and the Acropolis and stuff. I have a good idea what they used for mortar…”
Person 1: “Feh.”
[No reptiles were harmed in the production of this dialogue.]
Turns out the joke was on Person 2, because when he got home from work the tortoise had repeated her job on the office and Person 2 got an opportunity to do a little poop work after all.
You herpetologists out there – is this the way reptiles mark their territory or is it just something they do when they get bored?
I wonder if Jackson Pollack had a tortoise.
Our pet turtles permanently stayed in the garden, so no shit in our house, except in summer when they all sneaked in through the back door.
I had a meeting this afternoon in a classroom containing a pet turtle. The tank freaking stank because the turtle is sick and I almost puked all over the reading grant coordinator. Throwing up in public isn’t going to help with my bid for tenure.