I have found Pakeha New Zealanders to be a little schizophrenic about how they see themselves as New Zealanders. Pakeha is a Maori word describing white New Zealanders of European descent. The word Pakeha has been said to have originally meant various things: ‘pale’, ‘ghost’, ‘white pig’ and ‘white lice’, but its origins are still a source of debate. Today, it is a word in common usage, and perfectly acceptable.

My husband always refers to himself as Pakeha. When filling in forms, if he has only the option ‘European New Zealander’ to tick under ethnicity, he is livid. “I’m not European!” he’ll exclaim. “My family has lived in New Zealand for five generations. In what sense am I European?!”

Others, many from older generations, are offended by the word Pakeha. Perhaps they feel a loss of identity at being defined in a non-European way. They cling to the traditions of the Old World.

My mother-in-law, for example, has always insisted upon slaving over a hot stove at Christmas to produce a traditional turkey and ham dinner with all the works, complete with Christmas pudding. Outside it will be hot and muggy, everyone in shorts and tee-shirts. But, no, Christmas dinner is a tradition.

This year, though, we were at the beach house. We finally convinced her to have cold salads and seafood for Christmas dinner. The world did not end. The wine still flowed, everyone still ate until they could burst, and we even still watched the Queen’s Christmas Speech from the Throne. Some traditions are worth keeping, I guess. But at least it was more like a Pacific Christmas.

Change is slow, but inevitable. Our children will be Pakeha, and they will have different traditions from their grandparents.